Lost

I was lost but never found
I wander aimlessly around
Never seeking a new home
I'm locked away and all alone
Who am I? Where do I go?
I wish I could know
Alone in a desert I see an alter
I'm begining to fade or falter
I lye down to take a rest
I'm forced to pass the ultimate test
I see my life flash before my eyes
I realize I'm about to die
I stand up and try to walk
I can't move or talk
I fall flat upon the ground
Without a single sound
I was found before very long
And the person realized I was gone

The rhyme scheme seems so forces...especially with the occasional false rhyme...and... there is one couplet that doesn't rhyme at all! If you are going to adhere to a rhyme scheme, its best to be consistent, otherwise the poetry comes off as very sloppy. Also, there are no new ideas. This doesn't convey anything that I haven't read a thousand times. Yes, you're lost, a lot of us are...but what makes YOU different? what sets you apart so much that people would like to read your poetry? Work on this.

I'm not saying I'm different from everyone else because I'm lost in the big empty world I know I'm not but I am different... not for reasons most would think but I am

I prefer this poem muchly to your Cutting one, this one is much more original, and over all a better poem, keep doing things like this one!

Meevs
x

Hmmm. I'm not sure about this one. I like the idea behind it but I agree that it needs a little work. It's very raw and I think with a bit more imagery it could be very effective. You say you're lost for different reasons than what we'd think... so why not bring that into the poem? I can understand if it's quite personal but I just feel that there needs to be something more to make it unique.