The Finishing Line

4 posts
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Gender Trans Masc Non-binary
Points 14748
Reviews 110
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I find myself sitting in the middle of so many things left unfinished. What a shame: when a story is meant to be told but I swallowed half of it.

Table of Contents
i. haunting the narrative
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.
vi.
vii.
They/he

"wist how dare you play with my heartstrings like that" ~ winter
"wist is in every rp" ~ley
“ah yes, fear Wist's smile :) <- speaks of layers and layers of secrets” ~mint

Pfp is made by Crowesn




User avatar
Gender Trans Masc Non-binary
Points 14748
Reviews 110
haunting the narrative

i keep dreaming about you
it's been nine days since we've talked
(only nine days?)
and i swear
my heart has already walked to your house
and is watching you through the window

do you still think of me?
i hope when you close your eyes
you are free of this heartache
as much as i hate you for inflicting it

heartbreaker
temptress
your mother's contact is still mother-in-law
in my dreams sometimes we are still together
and sometimes i am yelling at you

you said you hope to speak again one day
and i keep waking up
expecting to see a message from you
but i go to bed disappointed
just to keep dreaming of you
They/he

"wist how dare you play with my heartstrings like that" ~ winter
"wist is in every rp" ~ley
“ah yes, fear Wist's smile :) <- speaks of layers and layers of secrets” ~mint

Pfp is made by Crowesn




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 50823
Reviews 258
Spoiler
Simply captivating, Wist! :D
I love how the poem comes full circle, the beginning and ending being the same. There's a creepy vibe (yay spooktober) that combats the selflessness in the second. There's memory, ache in the absence. The last stanza especially appealed to me in its hopelessness. There's a very realistic pain in this narrative, bravo! You're doing a great job with this, my best wishes =)




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Gender Female
Points 140177
Reviews 1310
Spoiler


i keep waking up
expecting to see a message from you
but i go to bed disappointed
just to keep dreaming of you



oof! The feeling of lingering (haunting!) feelings for someone even after the relationship and person is gone is captured very well in these tangible moments. I agree with Alex that the final closing stanza is particularly catching.
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return



It’s not unorthodox, I thought it was beautiful.
— Jimi Hendrix