Places (Then, Now, Soon)

Thanks so much @Spearmint!!

The flowers deserve to sleep.

<3 Loving all of #9! Your ability to flesh out a specific scene/motif is so strong, even in such seemingly mundane moments in time. #8 is especially whimsical, "circus rings of sugar" and "ant traffic" is so clever! :]

Thanks so much @Calamity!

I really like the concept of this one and might rework it after NaPo when I have more headspace (as with a lot of poems in this thread ^^').

Inspired by 'All day on Mauke' by Rob Hack. I tried to reverse the sad, ominous atmosphere of that poem which conveys the sense of an island as somewhere people move out of. I also took inspiration from a different island, and a different view of its future.

Your poetry is greatly crafted!! Throughout the poetry I've read in this thread, there is an often an occurrence of this stern tone written with confidence about life & humanity that puts you in place. The language feels active, less-passive, which captivates you in that place (ex: The Museum: The museum is coming to us). However, there can be a tenderness felt within the assertion that eases you into reminders, lessons, or thoughts (ex: A Garden II: In forgetting groceries, a potato / surfaces from nowhere and reminds us to eat.) and adds depth to the voice. The tone and voice itself, as stern or at times brooding it can be, is able to get its point across without leaving the reader out by condensation or referring to them with the assumption they're lacking in certain knowledge which means failure on their part. Instead, it prefers to probe to incite curiosity or mindfulness, which I think is a wonderful way of using poetry!

The prose knows when to not go overboard with language (ex: The Island: Sometimes bicycles lean against crates, / coconuts coalesce, and he halves the shells.) to make lines flow beautifully, and there is a confidence in the decision a poem doesn't need to burrow a "flowery" prose to make it flow & bring impact (which really does work well for your poetry - I never feel like it should be "more" simplistic in language, or poetic in language to uplift itself, since I believe its identity is already strong on its own), and the variety in your poetry makes it stronger!

This thread has been a great read. It was a lovely time sitting down to just catch up, and see what you do in your work. All of that confidence & strength makes your poetry distinct!!

Gosh thank you so much for your thoughtful comment @lalalucky! I'm really glad to hear you enjoy reading these poems. Your observations about the tone and the language are really good to know and I love the idea that these poems can "probe" the reader into a state of curiosity I'm always really keen on the aspiration that poetry can help us see things from a new perspective. Thanks again!

I am enjoying your notes about some of your inspirations for these poems Lim - I always find that type of thing interesting to read.

Circus rings of sugar
a roller-coaster of crumbs
a honey ferris wheel
a meal of mushrooms
for the fungus-loving kind of ants.

Now doesn't that just sound fun?! Your poem about ants made me smile, I love an ant / bug poem (reminded me of "departmental" by Robert Frost one of my absolute faves (but yours is much more cheerful than Frost's!)

The sense of "home-ness" and familiarity came through your Club-house poem.

Community Gardens was also a fun one to picture and follow as the water moved from history, to the dining room table and there's a sense of continuity and community between it all stemming from water.

Have enjoyed your thread as always Lim! Thank you for poeting here and well wishes for the rest of the month! <333