Camp NaNo July 23: So Long, Farewell

Then, tears of joy started to well in her eyes. She’d worked so hard for this. Annie knew that she’d always had a place in the drama club since the beginning of the year. She’d treasured every production she’d been a part of, but she’d always wanted something more. She knew that she had the talent and the capability to do more than just chorus or a one off part. Her parents had always told her that her chance would come. She knew that she’d built up a relationship with Mr. Grant, who always praised how talented she was. As an underclassman, there had been few opportunities for her to be a part of anything but chorus. The past two years, it seemed as though Kyra and Haley had gotten every lead. Annie wondered if Mr. Grant had simply felt bad for her since this was the last chance she’d have before she’d have to start all over again in college. Either way, she was going to do Maria justice.

Annie had told Thomas they could find some privacy in her bedroom. Without a word, or telling her parents where they were going, she led him upstairs and closed the door.

They didn’t say anything. She gazed into his perfect clear blue eyes before her gaze became fixated on his lips. They were standing so close to each other.
She’d watched people do this all the time in movies, but had no experience with it herself. Her heart was pounding. It couldn’t have been that hard, could it? Annie leaned it and touched her lips to his. It was odd at first, even awkward as they pulled away. Thomas was smiling, his face bright red, and Annie realized hers was the same.

Thomas leaned in this time to kiss her again.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” He asked.

“Yes, of course I do.”

That would be the start of the three and a half years they would ultimately spend together.

Somehow, Annie found her way to the dressing room. Her surroundings were blurred as she broke down in sobs, music and applause still audible from the theater. She heard a voice a few times before she realized that it was Marin.

“Hey, hey,” Marin said, sitting next to her and wrapping her in a hug.“We did a thing!”

Annie continued to sob, and Marin must have realized that it wasn’t just tears of joy.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want it to be over,” Annie managed.

Marin pulled her in tighter. “Sweetheart, I know.” She waited a moment for Annie to dry her tears, and tried to reassure her. “But we’re going to graduate in like a month, and then college–”

“Why do things have to change? What if I don’t want to leave home? What if I just want things to stay the way they are?

Annie was reapplying makeup and had the sleeves of her long sleeve dress rolled up. Hannah only glanced over for a moment, but what she saw was unmistakable. The cuts. They were old, long since healed over, but they covered her arms almost completely. Hannah’s heart started to beat fast. She knew that people self harmed, but she’d never seen it with her own eyes before. Annie noticed her staring. Flustered, she put her makeup bag aside and rolled down her dress sleeves.

“I’m sorry…I just…” Hannnah started.

“You just what?” Annie responded curtly. She didn’t seem angry, but more tired, defeated. “You didn’t think I had problems?”

“No…”

“I’m sorry,” Annie said. “They’re from a while ago. Dunno if any of them are ever going to heal.”

Hannah’s heart was still pounding. She wanted to say the right thing, and didn’t know what was proper in these kinds of situations. “As long as you’re okay now.”

“Chronic depression is a bitch, Hannah,” Annie said. “I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
Hannah said nothing. If anything, a part of her felt stupid. She felt stupid for always being jealous of someone who had more in common with her than she realized.

“Look,” Annie finally said. “You and Thomas seem happy. He’s a great guy.” Annie’s eyes were welling with tears. “I broke up with him because I thought he could do better. I didn’t want him to be burdened with all of my shit, okay?” She laughed ruefully. “It was never going to work past high school, him and me. Just… take care of him, okay?”

“I’m trying,” was all Hannah said.

Annie grabbed her makeup bag and made her way towards the door. “See you in there.”

“See you.”