What are we?

4 posts

Do you believe in ghosts..why?

  • Yes, because I saw one 11%
  • Yes, because millions of people can't be wrong No votes
  • Yeah, ok...I just kinda do 67%
  • No, because it's a load of rubbish 11%
  • No, because logically it would be impossible 11%

Total votes: 9

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What are we but lonesome creatures prowling in the Night.
Under the stars, under the sky, under the cold moonlight.
The beauty, the sorrow, the laughter and fears,
We'll be here tomorrow, for more smiles and tears.
There's nothing after, we live for naught
After all the emotions and battles we've fought.
Why do we? Why do we try? There is no reward in dying,
No reward in winning, no reward in trying.

We are wolves in the Night, but we're only howling because it's better than silence.

Live for the moments that make this world, your world.
No one else will for you. Your world, you have the right.
No one else can do what you can, so don't let them stop you.
Cry when you have sorrow. Laugh when you have cause to and
Love, because that is the greatest feeling of all.

And you are blessed to have it.
SoMeOnE oNcE sAiD tHaT wHaT yOu DoN't KnOw CaN't HuRt YoU. i ThInK tHaT sOmEOnE mAdE tHe GrEaTeSt MiStAkE oF aLl.




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First of all, welcome to YWS! It's always nice to have some talented poets on this site, and you seem to be no exception. :D I hope you're around for a while and get a chance to know members, learn how to critique, and just get better at writing. :)

You have several beautiful lines in here in this poem, so I thought I'd point them out. ^_^;;

What are we but lonesome creatures prowling in the Night.
Under the stars, under the sky, under the cold moonlight.


When I read the first line, I wondered if the rhyme would work, but it did! And it's such an eerie, blue thought. (Yeah... don't ask. I associate words with colors, and that was blue.)

Another line which I loved is this:

We are wolves in the Night, but we're only howling because it's better than silence.


I liked this a lot too. It's so lonely and you've conveyed the feelings of the poem marvelously. :D

You're a very talented poet, so I commend you for that! Those lines are by far the best. The rest of the poem gets a little repetitive with the loneliness stuff, but still! I love the metaphors and images you've come up with though -- expand on that, and you've got it made!

As far as ghosts? Not something I think about a lot, but yes, I suppose I do believe in them. I just hope I never meet one!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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wow. this is amazing.

I really like it and feel i can connect with the feelings you express here.

I also can feel a sort of connection with nature with your references to wolves.

very nice. :D
You would die for this, just a little bit.




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It surprised me that I enjoyed this so much, LOL.

Snoinkus picked out most of the best lines, but personally I loved the first stanza and the line that came after it.

The second stanza bugged me though - I think because it was kind of a rough transition from this neat, lyrical rhyme to non-rhyme, and the subject kind of changed. If I were you, I'd think about moving this to another poem and leaving this one with just the first 9 lines, as that bit has the most power, IMHO.

I would definitely like to commend you for your excellent use of rhyme and rhythm in this poem. And the subject matter was pretty deep too. Kudos!

Welcome to YWS. I think you'll fit in here just fine :)

Cheers,
~bubbles
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