Song for You: a haiku

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Oooo.... actually, I like that lack of comma because of the double meaning. I like haikus since they're so simple, but they usually aren't.

The first line I love because it's so simple. It's rejecting the narrator, so straight off we feel sympathy for the narrator, not because of anything that the narrator has told us about his life but because we see him growing beneath our very eyes, and I like that a lot. :)

The second line is almost a rush of strange thoughts, and I like this also. I see it sort of a "fwooosh!" An infodump of ideas confined into seven syllables. But a good infodump. :)

And then I love the last line. Ending the poem with something so simple is just gorgeous. And I just love it because you have this change occurring in your narrator, but at the same time this statement is so innocent, so free of any change that the change is going back, not to the angsty days of old, but the older days of love and simplicity.

So yes. I love this poem. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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[edit]
'It aint the size, love,' she says. 'It's how you use it. That's the important thing, methinks.'

Of course, she was talking about vocabulary...




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Bent, Last week I read a haiku that ANI wrote, and that inspired me to write many haikus. Was there a reason that there was no punctuation? -London
"When Ajax strives some rock's vast weight to throw,
The line too labors, and the words move slow;" -Alexander Pope



You cannot have an opponent if you keep saying yes.
— Richard Siken