If you want detailed critique or feedback you can post in the literary forums via the Publishing Centre, (link up top.)
This is well formatted, with is always a good start. It gets pretty tense at points and there is a lot going on in a short space. I'd recommend easing off a bit on the stage directions. Scripts are all about dialogue and the interpretation of that dialogue, so including too many instructions detracts from that.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. — The Bee Movie
Sagaba Final.pdf
