Free Fall

I deal in colours, beauty, dreams;
to you go the spoils of the intellectual mind -
I take what is left. In other words
I sleep my life away beneath the eiderdown
of self-delusion, and congratulate myself
on awarding you houseroom;
I believe that I control
those green, grass-on-the-other-side thoughts
that grow, root-deep,
in my heart.

but there is no refuge in imagination;
you live there, too, black to my orange, opal
to my blue nothingness.
At the golden pinnacle of my thoughts
there you are, before me, robbing me of independence.
At the purple depths of my despair
there you are, tormenting me
by feeling deeper.

For I may be brilliance, but you are genius;
I may be a rainbow, but you are of the earth;
and next to your depth

I am weightless.

I liked it Nice job ! Your choice of words is verry nice.
What I didn't like were your sudden cuts in between the lines verryy akward Couldn't find my way... It looks like there's been some forced '' trying to put into rythem '' here
I didn't quite like your '' ; '' 's they weren't really nescecarry I guess..
Nywzz I really liked your topic but you should try rewriting it maybe try to put in more stanza's
cause it just doesn't flow the way it is..

airy ending, but it fits.
when i saw this poem was by you i yelled "stop writing so much!", but just because i'm not writing anything. jealous, i suppose. i hate stress and lack of time and writer's block and whatever i have.
your writing is significantly improving.

great i really like this verse but there is no refuge in imagination;
you live there, too, black to my orange, opal
to my blue nothingness.
At the golden pinnacle of my thoughts
there you are, before me, robbing me of independence.
At the purple depths of my despair
there you are, tormenting me
by feeling deeper. thats really good see ya \:D/

"but there is no refuge in imagination" It is true yet some do take refuge in the mind and they are considered irrational and disillusioned although are were the irrational ones?



OK what is spew!!

Yeah, so I was procrastinating and realized that I never actually read the comments on this piece so now I have to improve it (anything to get out of Women's Studies).

Edit #1

I may deal in colours, beauty and dreams
but to you go the spoils of an intellectual mind.
I take what is left (in other words
I sleep my life away beneath the eiderdown
of self-delusion, and congratulate myself
on awarding you houseroom).
For I believe that I control
those green, grass-on-the-other-side thoughts
that grow, root-deep,
in my heart.

But there is no refuge in imagination;
you live there, too, black to my orange, opal
to my blue nothingness.
At the golden pinnacle of my thoughts
there you are before me, robbing me of independence.
At the purple depths of my despair
there you are, tormenting me
by feeling deeper.

I may be brilliance, but you are genius;
I may be a rainbow, but you are the earth;
and next to your depth

I am weightless.

Aww... this is so pretty!

...yep. That's all I have to say. The edited version was very nice.

It's really good. The only thing I'm not sure about it the 2nd line. It doesn't seem to flow as well. Other than that i love the feelings and the quality. It's amazing.