Queer Inklings

Queer Inklings

Come join and discuss LGBT+ issues and give support to all who seek it!

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  • Created Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:44 pm

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  • ArdenJinn
    ArdenJinn · Sep 20
    Okay, I don't know if this is me being dramatic or stubborn cause I've been told both.

    Spoiler
    my grandparents on my dad side are super conservative and if they found I was bi or nonbinary they'd throw my entire family out for "raising me wrong" and stuff like that. It wouldnt be good. I really hate going to see them because it's stressful, I'm worried my littler siblings might slip and out me, I really don't want to be around people that won't want to have a relationship if they found out, and it's really exhausting to be called by the wrong pronouns and my dead name all day. It's really hard for my dad because he accepts me and he's already had struggles with my grandpa for not raising me to be a "good Christian girl". I've brought this up with my parents and they keep saying to "leave it alone." Its just super hard to want to be with people that would hate me for who I am and I don't know what to do. Am I being dramatic or stubborn?

    winterwolf0100 replied · Sep 20

    Not dramatic or stubborn. My grandmother on my dad’s side is the same way. I love her but I get anxious being around her. I’m already out, and she deadnames consistently and purposely. It’s exhausting and not someone anyone should have to go through. If you want a relationship with them, however difficult it is, that is okay but it should be YOUR choice to make. You shouldn’t have to struggle and be in pain to placate others. I’m very sorry <33


    EASkelly replied · Sep 20

    You aren't dramatic or stubborn. I have a hard time being around my family at times because I know that they only accept a fake version of me, not my true self, and it stresses me out severely. Heck, I have had a relative tell me to my face that my sexuality didn't matter because I was going to "marry a man anyways". It hurts a lot, and there is simply nothing I can do about it because I would have to change their beliefs to make them even accept me. That is how it is in your situation to: it hurts, but you can't make them accept you. The thing is that it is your choice to not want to see that and your family needs to accept that fact. I know it isn't necessarily the same, but I have cousins with terrible manners and cause my anxiety to spike, so I told my family flat-out that I either hide inside of some corner for hours on end every time they force me around them or they make the choice to let me not want to see them. I am now allowed to stay completely away from my cousins if they ever have to be in the same area as I do (though part of it was because my parents didn't want me to stay "dramatic"). I am not sure if that would work in your case, but that is just what helped me in a specific situation.



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