Queer Inklings

Queer Inklings

Come join and discuss LGBT+ issues and give support to all who seek it!

  • 171 forum topics
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  • Created Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:44 pm

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  • winterwolf0100 replied · Aug 28

    I had this SO OFTEN when I was younger. Appropriate response would be “were you too young to know you were straight?” OR if you wanna be a little less pointed, “I don’t have to be a certain age to know I don’t wanna be stabbed with a knife!! They feel the same to me!”

    Really tho even if you end up in a different place or wanting different things in the future, so what??? Your feelings right now are valid and shouldn’t be undermined bc of your age. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that <33


    canopy replied · Aug 28

    Spoiler
    “were you too young to know you were straight?”

    I TRIED THAT but then they launched into some convoluted argument about how I was placing too much emphasis on the importance of sex and how everybody finds that disgusting anyway and some patriarchal rephrasal of women have 'passive' sexuality that takes years to develop and men have an 'aggressive' sexuality so really women dont like sex actually and I didn't know how to respond to that because when I tried suggesting otherwise I got hit with a "how would you know I'm so much older I know about the world you are a child, everyone your age feels this way"


    winterwolf0100 replied · Aug 28

    LOL “everybody finds it disgusting” no they don’t. A lot of people actually REALLY want it… sounds like an ace person in denial honestly >.>


    canopy replied · Aug 28

    Spoiler
    sounds like an ace person in denial honestly >.>


    I suggested that too ToT but then they went well no?? everyone feels like that, that's the whole point, there's no point of an ace label anyway what benefit does that have? (the argument was you need gay labels to let people know what kind of partner you want but if you're het and ace then there's no need so it's not a label actually)


    serrodyne replied · Aug 28

    As an ace person this is my whole experience summed up


    Skorpionne replied · Aug 28

    This is a tough one. It's horrible to not be taken seriously just because of your age. Especially when, as winterwolf said, you just KNOW that they wouldn't be saying this about being straight.

    My advice would be: you don't actually have to respond at all. You can say something boring and noncommittal like 'hmm, maybe' and then change the subject (I got that trick from the Captain Awkward blog!). Don't get caught in the trap of defending your identity - I know it's awful and hurtful to have people not believe you, but you are going to remain ace whether or not they do. You don't have to waste time fighting about it with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. (And even if you do change your mind one day - who cares! It's your reality now!)

    This is easier for me to say with an extra decade of life and the ability to no longer live with my parents/guardians, admittedly. Sorry. Hang in there - it truly does get better.


    canopy replied · Aug 28

    thank you all for the messages <3 this actually made me feel so much better <333


    EASkelly replied · Aug 29

    I feel this a lot! I am in the closet, so nobody says this to me specifically, but they talk around me about it a bit too much. In my mind, I can't speak for how people in your life will respond to anything I offer as advice because I know for certain my own family would yell at me until I broke down if I said anything remotely connected to my sexuality or gender, so take what I say with caution as it will not work for everyone. In general, though, you can always try avoiding the conversation. Sure, it sucks to not be able to express yourself fully, but if people are only going to make you feel bad over it, I think just avoiding the conversation while still being yourself is better than having your sense of life be beaten down when they push you into the trap of making themselves feel better by bringing others down. Naturally, that doesn't account for if people bring it up without you starting the conversation, but I would advise that you think out how to respond and take a deep breath before saying anything because people who want to bring you down will look at your tone and words to see if they successfully got the reaction they wanted. I apologize for the rant though; I hope that it gets better eventually.



Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques -- like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.
— Homer Simpson