Could you date/marry a Christian?
26 posts in this topic.
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When it comes to children, I think that more than indoctrinating them in either a religion, or atheism, one ought to teach them how to think, reason and draw conclusions. No religion seems to be inherent; they are all taught through societal and parental influence. If you teach a child to critically analyze every aspect of his or her world you might be raising a dreadful little cynic, but one who can formulate his or her own opinions rather than swallowing what a church teaches him or her.
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"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."
Friedrich Nietzsche, The Dawn, Sec. 297
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Tr3x -- Exactly. We both value critical thinking. With my parents, it doesn't matter if I agree with them on any given issue so much as it does that I can back up my views to show that I've considered various points and have arrived to this conclusion myself.
However, if you have someone, like Rosey said, who holds their beliefs very close to their hearts, then it can be an issue. For example, a christian might agree overall that critical thinking is good (Only the idiot Christians that give normal Christians a bad name openly say critical thinking is bad), but might prefer "critical thinking" in favor of their religion. So, how might God see this or this, how might we apply such and such bible verse to this situation, why do you think God made such and such this way, etc. All not very good examples for what I'm trying to say here, but I'm hoping maybe they get the idea across? Not critical thinking that may somehow attack Christianity, but rather, fake "critical thinking" that only supports it. So, does this bible verse mean this, or this? Think critically about what God's message to us may be!
So, even if you would like them to think openly about things, consider all the options, think critically, and make a decision based on that, they might want their kid to be a Christian, because for them, that's the "right" way of doing things. For you, teaching them to think critically is the right way of doing things.
So, if you get a sane Christian (Or anyone from any religion) who also values critical thinking like you do and wouldn't mind if their kid grew to follow a faith other than theirs, then it's okay. The problem is, most people get very attached to their beliefs. Atheists are a bit better in that they're almost by definition all about critical thinking, but even then, you have the crazy atheists who want to shove their atheism down every religious person's throat. My uncle is one of those crazies. If he ever has children, he will do his very absolute best to ensure they grow up to be as strongly atheistic and anti-religion as him. And he would call it critical thinking while he was doing it.
TL;DR [almost] Everyone *says*they're all for critical thinking and value it, but actually following through with it when it's your kid who's possibly going to hell because you let them think critically and choose something else (or equivalent consequence here) it's a very different story. Talking's one thing, follow through is another. -
My ex was fine with dating me. But it is up to their tolerance level. I didn't mind that he didn't believe. I just cared about him.
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Yeah, any faith. I'm not so shallow that I'd dump someone just because they believe in a floating man in the sky.
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I'm dating a Christian girl now, though it's only been a few weeks. She's very kind and genuine, and I think her faith is part of that. I respect her beliefs a lot; in my country open faith isn't really encouraged very much, so it can be hard sometimes to tell people you're religious. While dating her is a lot of fun, there are a few things that might come up as issues later on that I'm a little concerned about.
The key one is marriage, as she believes in chastity before marriage (my friends think I'm crazy, I know), whereas I don't particularly believe in marriage at all. That's not to say I'm against monogamy or commitment, it's just that the history of marriage taints it a little for me. To me, it looks like a method by which men controlled women, taking away their freedom to simply get up and leave. I'd also much rather be in a long-term, happy relationship based on love rather than a sense of obligation. I don't think she wants to marry me or anything, it's just an example of how fundamentally people can disagree when faith and tradition mix. I don't think she knows how I feel about marriage, so I'm not sure if I should bring it up, wait till she does or simply avoid the question, although the later would feel a bit like lying. -
Holy threadomancy batman!
It's probably a good idea to come clean sooner rather than later about your views on sex and marriage. Like an avalanche, it's going to happen sooner or later, but you can limit any possible damage by doing it in a controlled manner. -
True, I've been mulling over the idea of having a proper conversation with her about spirituality and such, but I haven't known her all that long yet. We're on something like a break while I do my exams, so I guess I'll say something about it then.
I do worry she'll think bad of me though. She's not the most open minded person, but her heart's in the right place so it shouldn't be a problem. Hmm... -
Still, in my experience I think it's better to bite the bullet and do it sooner rather than later.
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I may depending on if they don't force a religion upon me.
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TBH It depends on the person. Like if they throw it around that they believe in god and they love him and all that shit, then FUCK NO!!!
And if they talk about like him a little bit, then maybe.
And if celebrate Christmas it is okay if they don't go all out of it.
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