Staring at my ceiling,hearing the crinkle of my hair against my ears,sinking down into my pillow, like my thoughts died before they reached the surface of my throat. What ever did I do that was so harmful that everyone’s gaze is away from me and not through me? If everyone saw my fiction through my non-fiction how different would i feel. how did everyone look at me as if I’m a creature from outer space, as though I have passed away completely from everything? Ever so lightly was the touch of my thoughts to my mind and soul,combing through the fear of my non-fiction.
Though it was the touch of the feather that brought me to feel the emptiness and the fullness of the rising moon. people surrounded by you shape your fiction but buried deep inside you, is your non-fiction. truly to ask the question “who are you?” is the question of someone’s body not proportioned to their mind. Who you are is either the most complex or simple question someone can ask you. Who are you? Who am I? That question is not answered through likes and dislikes, but rather who your soul is.
Your soul cannot be defined though. it has no shape or feeling to decide for itself. The mind decides a fiction for your remaining body and displays it as what you are rather than who you are. When one asks me who am I? I would stay silent. Though one may know what they like and what they desire, it doesn't make up who one is. The rising moon was never condemned to the life that it had, therefore its ever-changing body through the naked eye. It is one of the most challenging or simple questions a human can ask, and to that I ask , “Is it better to understand your fiction or display your non-fiction?”
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Heyy! I really liked this, especially the whole idea of “fiction” and “non-fiction” being the version of ourselves we show people vs who we actually are inside. The repeated “who are you?” part really stood out to me because honestly, it’s such a simple question but it can be weirdly hard to answer.
I also really liked the ending. It actually made me think about whether we should try to understand our real selves or just accept the version everyone sees. Some parts were a little confusing because the sentences get really long, but I think that also gives it that messy, overthinking kind of feeling, which fits the piece. Overall, this felt really deep and personal. Nice work, keep writing! <3
tysm! I was working on this off the top of my head, so I just let all my thoughts flow into sentences, sorry if it sounds a bit messy, but I will work on that in the future! TYSM!
Its ok
Hey jewel! Today I'll be reviewing ur beautiful work!
I really appreciate the way you turned such a simple question 'Who are you?' into something far more extensive, something that is utterly unattainable.
One of the things that remained with me from your poem was the way you paired the word 'fiction' with 'non-fiction'; I thought about how we create ourselves in the minds of others while a shadowy part of us stays hidden.
The situation was simple but the thoughts in the narrator's head gave it a wistful and restless atmosphere. I appreciated the way you transferred ideas from one to the other, focusing on the topics of identity and perception as well as the difference between them.
It was a nice touch and the poem remained with me all the more since the more I learned about it, the more it seemed both unanswerable and simple. I agreed with ur state of opinion on being unable to define ourselves through our likes and dislikes; just because I like something does not mean that I understand it.
The one thing about this poem that I think u could do better is to divide ur essay into shorter paragraphs; many of the good ideas here have been lost due to the amount of content that u have packed into each paragraph.
In fact I did enjoy ur poem since it was quite deep and reflective. I particularly liked the fact that it left us with more questions than answers and it made me consider whether self understanding is the same as understanding oneself. It is the uncertainty of everything that I think made this piece stand out to me.
Lovely work! <3
~hira♡
TYY TYSM, I get that alot lol, but I am so glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the feedbackk !
Understanding one self is probably the hardest thing to do cause when you do then this life or death shouldn't mean anything both of yours and of everything around you.