Why Jenny left Justin
Dear Jenny,
It seems so long ago yet it wasn’t. Mere hours ago you still loved me, and I loved you. Not that I don’t love you now of course. But you don’t love me back.
My heart bleeds but soon it will scar and toughen. Even if it will lessen the pain I don’t want that; I want you. You are perfection, once you have perfection it is hard, if at all possible to move on. My first love. My only love. My best friend. Closer than family. They say young love never lasts I don’t agree. I will always love you, even when you have forgotten me. After all we may never see each other again.
I want to say I am sorry, no, I am not asking for forgiveness I don’t deserve it. I only want to offer an explanation and my apology.
I should have told you and asked for your opinion, I know that now.
Ending #1
It was so cute, I couldn’t help myself I knew you were allergic but I got her anyway. I will name her Jenny, after you. I am sorry I got a puppy.
Love,
Justin
Ending #2
When I told you I thought you would be proud of me, and happy I had finally found something worth doing with my life. Those kids need me, and as much as I would like to bail and stay with you I know I must help them, give them a better chance. It would be selfish to put my own feelings before the lives of those starving, homeless, orphaned and most of all uneducated African children. I will be teaching them all how to read, and do math. I will teach them about life, and maybe even love.
I am sorry, but I have no regrets.
Love,
Justin
Critiques welcome! This is my first "romantic" piece. I think it was good practice because I have no dealings in romance myself, also Ending one is suposed to be relitively ridiculous.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Okay so a somewhat cheesy and romantic letter. Not my area of expertise exactly because I also have no dealings in romance but purely as a letter I think it was okay in terms of the actual wording and structure although at some points where I will point it got super cheesy and that's not a bad thing (I do it all the time) but I am just pointing it out.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay not the clearest start to a letter but okayyy...it works out well enough.
That is the cheesiest letter I have ever read and I love it because that's exactly the sort of thing I would write for one of my nocels.
That's seems like a smart conclusion there.
Ouch but I have to agree. The puppy is clearly more important here.
Now this actually sounds like something that a reasonable human would say and do.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Okay so these were some pretty good letters and I have to say the second ending sounds much more like a sane excuse but I actually really like the sheer craziness of the first ending too. It one of those "It's so bad its good" kind of things. And overall this is pretty well done. You also really a good sense of the sort of headspace the person who is writing this must be in.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey, Zellie!
Haha! So you finally began posting here! I win! *maniacal laughter*
*hem*, sorry...
I think that the letters got sort of scrambled you should have it bold where it says
'Ending #1 ' and 'Ending #2 ' otherwise, awesome!
Well, if that's all you got, it would be wise to lengthen it.
If it was just practice, then okay. I think you could get even more practice if you gave us a background of sorts like how they met and what exactly did go wrong. The whole letter thing is a bit cliche, and kind of akward to read with nothing else to it. We have no story line or plot. It just is. You made Justin kind of ramble. I think even if you just expanded on the letter it would be great. Maybe also add to Jenny's part? This was short, yet sweet. I'd love to read a follow-up after some corrections or rearranging has been done. Of course, #2 was the best.