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The Mountain (0)

by zekcede


This is a series of posts; the way this works is I'm doing an activity with my English tutor where she gave me the title of a poem I have never read and told me to write the poem. Most of the poems, in the beginning, will stick to the prompt of the mountain, but as she gives me another line of the poem, the poems that i write will slowly become more and more outlandish. the prompt of every poem will be written at the top, and the poem will be below it. 


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189 Reviews


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Thu Mar 25, 2021 1:36 pm
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review! Also, happy belated welcome to YWS! I know you'll love it here.

This piece is a little hard to review, since it's not really a creative work. I think you could have perhaps attached it to the first work of The Mountain series, just to provide context while also having a creative work underneath so that people can actually provide a more beneficial review. Also, like the other review mentioned, you could to a blog post. If you want more people to read it, though, I think you should put it at the top of the first work of the series. Plus, this took 200 points to publish, so it would be better on multiple people's parts if you just attached it to the first poem.

Other than that, I think this sounds really interesting! The way I understand it is that you get a little more of the poem every time and have to write the end of it? It sounds like a super fun exercise, honestly. Maybe I should get someone to do that for me, haha. I'm excited to see how they turn out!

Specifics

This is a series of posts, the way this works is I'm doing an activity with my English tutor where she gave me the title of a poem I have never read and told me to write the poem.


The first sentence here is a comma splice, which means you have two independent clauses joined together with only a comma. This is technically incorrect. To fix it, you could do three things: make it two sentences, make the comma a semicolon, or add in a conjunction. Personally, I think these clauses would be the best as two separate sentences, because there's really nothing tying them together.

the poems that i write will slowly become more and more outlandish. the prompt of every poem will be written at the top, and the poem will be below it.


You've got a few capitalization errors here. "i" should be capitalized, and so should "the," since it's at the beginning of the sentence.

Overall: this sounds like a very fun opportunity to let your creativity flow! I'm really looking forward to reading what you come up with!




zekcede says...


The first part has already been posted! Sorry, I'm really lazy when I'm not actually writing works.



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Mon Mar 22, 2021 5:54 pm
chikara wrote a review...



Ello there!

I love nature inspired poetry, and mountains are really interesting in my opinion. I do also like the way this feels like the narrator figure will descend into madness as they are stuck on the mountain, which might not be the exact thing you were going for, but it's a great way to practice your writing skills in my opinion.

I'm a little confused about the "she gives me another line of the poem, the poems that i write will slowly become more and more outlandish" part because all of those lines will contradict each other perhaps, which would be difficult to portray in a poem without it getting really choppy and hard to read and understand completely.

I also think this would be better in a blog post because this here wasted two hundred points, but that depends on what you want to do. Blogs are a bit hard to find your way around at first though, so maybe not the best place.

I can't wait to see more of this because it seems really interesting, and I hope it doesn't fall apart with all of the lines happening because that would be a terrible way to waste this brilliant idea. (Oh and your tutor sounds really cool.)

I'm totally following along with this ~

L




zekcede says...


ah, i see what you're getting at.

My English tutor gave me an assignment, where she gives me one line at a time of a poem I have never read before. Every time she gives me a new line, I have to "finish" the poem. The poem is called "The Mountain" but I am not allowed to read it, for the sake of the project



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Sat Mar 20, 2021 8:24 am
piyaliarchives says...



Piyali archives
Hi!

Nice ! I am excited to see how it goes 😊
I really like the concept as I think as the poem unfolds it will be great to compare the original with yours.

I want to read your work soon :D

Have a great writing day ahead! :3 ❤️




zekcede says...


I posted the first part a few hours ago!




cron
The bigger the issue, the smaller you write. Remember that. You don’t write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid’s burnt socks lying on the road. You pick the smallest manageable part of the big thing, and you work off the resonance.
— Richard Price