I really loved your story! It brought me to tears because of the raw emotion. Thank you for sharing, i hope to read more of your work!
Four feet of unmoving air stood between them, yet they could have been halfway around the world. The walls, once stark white, had faded to a soft gray. The twin bed had been jammed into one corner, unmade, lavender sheets drooping with a serene sort of sadness. Her iconic little black dress, weekend flannel and sweatpants, and campus blue jeans littered the floor. On the dresser was one photo, the gold frame rusted and the glass covering cracked. His lips had softly, barely brushed her cheek, and both of their faces held the innocent, childhood bliss of first love. He remembered.
Her legs were crossed, soft hands curled into loose fists. She was enveloped in a white dress, blindingly bright ruffles rippling down her bosom and accentuating her slim waist. He had never seen this dress before. It must have been new.
Her face was unmade, yet held a soft tranquil peace. Fair skin and rosy cheeks stood next to thin lips, the color of the sakuras blossoming in spring. Wavy blond locks cascaded past her shoulders; flowed into the ruffles of her dress. Her eyes, once a bright lively blue, had faded to a soft gray. She was staring at him now, gray eyes filled with tears. He saw, and knew she remembered.
Remembered the apple orchard, the time when he grabbed her and had kissed her—full on the lips, and she had folded into his strong arms and kissed him back. Remembered the time they had dropped their books and kissed in the hallway at school, holding the admission letters, knowing that they would be together for four more years, and possibly a lifetime. Remembered the naughty stuff they had done together in bed, and his fourty-four different lovemaking positions. He knew she remembered.
“I’m sorry, Jack,” her hollow voice, the eyes not daring to look at him, stabbed him in the chest. He knew what she was going to say; knew what was coming, yet still felt his lifeblood drain out when she said it. “It’s over.”
His held his breath, eyes blinking, uncomprehending, yet knowing at the same time. Rubbed his hands over his jeans in despair, felt a budge in the left pocket, took out the money. A dollar-sixty-four. And again, he remembered. Remembered the fair, last fall, when she had given him the money to buy her a hot dog. He had forgotten, looked at the shiny coins; he had ditched her and rode the roller coaster one more time. Looking down, he glanced at the money, coins now dull, crisp dollar bill frayed. It was her money.
He stood up, knocking over the chair and walked toward her with shaky legs. “You want it? It’s yours,” his voice was now a whisper, trembling even more than his legs. She saw the money in his outstretched palm, and curtly replied with the same trembling voice:
“No, you can keep it.” He put it on the dresser, next to the picture.
I really loved your story! It brought me to tears because of the raw emotion. Thank you for sharing, i hope to read more of your work!
Hello, @zandalovespanda! It's Magenta here, for a review. I haven't been on here for a very long time and I am a little rusty. 
Welcome to YWS! I know you'll love it here.
I really love short stories, if I may say that before anything else. You have a really nice opening sentence. It drew me in. Not to mention, your wonderful title! I think that you've added a hint of mystery to your characters and I like that as well.
I am struggling to find something that would be worth putting into this review. Okay, I'm going to be extremely picky right now. Ignore this if you want.
Her iconic little black dress, weekend flannel and sweatpants, campus blue jeans littered the floor.
Fair skin and rosy cheeks stood in juxtaposition with thin lips, the color of the sakuras blossoming in spring.
What a work! It's so beautiful and so tragic, seeing those two forlorn former lovers together. You did an excellent job weaving together the events of the story, providing such an elegant flow, and, by the end of the story, I felt I knew many aspects of them well. Your descriptions are wonderful, as is your attention to details and their personalities. The beginning was saddening, seeing how the man remembers so many beautiful events in the past, and now they stand alone, desolate, color having faded away. Excellent job with your expression at the beginning: "...they could have been halfway around the world..." It helps capture the feelings of despair they now feel, breaking up with each other after all those years together. I can see and understand their past, the times they had spent together, and what is left of their love now. When you showed the objects in the room, and the man's memories, it seemed to personify to me what had once been glorious, but now neglected. The events in the story are tragic, as is the part with the dollar bill and how he had ignored her, and the way he pays for it now. It's a beautiful composition, and I find not a single error on it. Excellent job. Keep up the good work! 
.
Thank you so much Flash for your review! Your help is greatly appreciated! Sorry, this sounds dumb but how do your edit your work?
-Zanda
Hello! Flash here for a quick review.
This was certainly interesting. The details are great! Everything was very vivid and smooth. I noticed that you said in your welcoming thread that you were blown away by the good writing on here. Well, I'm being honest, it doesn't get much better than this! I wish I was as good as you, haha.
I didn't see any grammatical errors. Good job on that! However I did notice a couple things:
"44" should be spelled out "forty four." Remember that if it's a number less than 100, it has to be spelled out.
When you mention the money in his pocket, I would consider spelling out the amount of money. A dollar sign and numbers seem kind of distracting. It's kind of nitpicky on my part, sorry. :p
And the dialogue tags. There should always be a comma at the end of the tag unless it's an exclamatory or interrogative sentence. Plus, the tag ("he said" "she said" etc.) is always lower cased unless it's a name.
Other than those three very little things, this was a nice piece.
Keep writing!
~Flash
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