Tristesse Chapter 3

by zafae0333

Published August 11, 2014

18+ Language Violence Mature Content

In Tristesse

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Hi there!

So yeah, here's chapter 3 and I hope you all like it. I want to thank 'KatyaElefant' 'cause she (I'm assuming she's a she) made me realize I could use Open Office as my proof reader -.- .... I really had not thought about it and the one I tried to use worked poorly... So thanks!!

Like that I hope the chapter has no grammatical mistakes, or at least just one or two. 

That's basically it... so, please, do read!!

.....................

Chapter 3

Back in the 'amazing' reality, they followed the hallway until it broke once and twice, turning on that one. Leonidas knew the place by heart, and could get there without even trying to remember the path; Is' image tormenting him all the way. What if she had not been able to arrive? What if he was too late? These kind of questions kept pestering him every time such an occasion arose. He should be used to it by now. The adrenaline, the hopeless wonder regarding her well being...but, he simply couldn't. He could not stop worrying about Isara.

Although a couple of random growls were heard here and there, it was obvious those Hounds were still busy with Samuel's group. They had to remain like that, otherwise Leo and his other two improvised musketeers were doomed to even higher risks. Even cornering their fears, as they happened to be trying to do, they could still feel it growing in strength, ready to strike at the slightest provocation, at the slightest hesitation.

A girlish scream suddenly broke through the thin layer of silence that still managed to leak through the annoying Faes alert. Until then the damn thing had not ceased to cry. Even so, the voice somehow managed to release them, even if slightly, from the hold of the so devious reptile that still crawled along their limbs. And for that, they were thankful.

“You bitch!” was the next thing they heard, followed by the sound of several piano notes played all at once, roughly and without care. “I should throw you from this very floor right now!” his raging voice went back and forth all over the place, reaching hallway after hallway. Sadly, alerting not only the trio that still rushed to the music class, but also every single creature near the building. She couldn't have messed up again, could she?

He answered his own question right away... yes, it did sound like her.

They hurried even more, running as quickly as their legs allowed them, following Leonidas' sudden turns and rash stops. It was as if he didn't care about anything else in the world, his friend thought. As if his only duty was to arrive there and remain by her side, watching over her shoulder and fending off any threat that may present. Chester knew little about Isara —having met her just a few times and not even for long— but even like that he could guess she was related to the recent noises.

When they arrived at the the room, Leo was not exactly shocked to found Isara half kneeling on the floor, one hand helping her to maintain balance while the other one rested poorly on the uncovered piano keys. A girl a few paces to her right, seemed to be trying to get quickly to her feet.

She'd probably got in the middle of the two arguing figures, and either backed up Isara or was simply considered annoying, and was moved aside quite roughly. It was only a guess, though, but he was probably right since she kept a hand to her left cheek —a red lump soon to appear.

A brunette guy came even closer to Isara; a threatening demeanor gave away his intentions.

After a quick look at Isara, Leo shifted his eyes to the girl who had finally stood up, and was wearing her demeanor as if major had happened. She was probably Cecily, Leo guessed once again. He remembered Is going on and on about how she spent such an nice time along the other members of the spearmanship club —from which Cecily happened to be the president.

With a gesture, he told her to stand back; and although she seemed to recognize him, she remained close enough, probably in case things got ugly. “What have you done this time?” he asked Isara as he helped her back to her feet, knowingly standing in middle of the apparent conflicted persons —that'd be cute lil' Is and Brunette #1.

Rushing to his arms in a very dramatic way, she yelled his name. She had the clearness of mind to take into consideration the correct volume and pitch of her voice, though. Somehow those damn beasts were sensitive to those kind of things as well. “You're late!” she whispered so only he could hear, upset; and not a trace of cuteness in her voice.

“Shut up,” he told her, releasing himself from her embrace. He took a quick peek, looking for anything out of place. Several teens simply stood over at the sides of the room, as if they didn't want to come any closer to the pair. He noticed a small group of of them, of 3 or so, were kneeling besides a fourth, in what seemed an attempt to look after the wounds that the guy may have; and somehow Cecily was the only girl besides Isara, and Leo's second musketeer, around. Realizing he was getting a bit sidetracked, he returned his attention to Isara, who stared at him back and smiled mischievously.

Yeah, she was just fine.

Little Is happened to be one year older than him, and about a head and a half smaller —thing that she kept measuring. Her long black hair reached just about the middle of her back. Her delicate sharp nose was slightly wrinkled, clearly displaying just how annoyed she was by the whole situation, and maybe a bit of anger towards Leonidas' late arrival. Disregarding her slightly thin chin, her eyes were just astonishing. Those close to purple iris gave the impression she could stare right through you and right now they were not leaving Leo's very own eyes.

Odd, such features shouldn't fit in well, but in her it seemed just too 'exact', too beautiful; as if her very frame had been sculpted from the delicate marble that made up her skin. He had always compared her to the twisted side of a querubin.

“Move!” the brunette commanded “Now. I'm not done with her.” she turned towards Leo, once again.

And there it was, her delightful smile at the edge of a smirk. He had to actually bit his own lip as to remain as serious as he could. “I said, I'm not done with her!” the brunette re-stated, grabbing Leonidas' shoulder, with considerable pressure, to emphasize the idea.

Isara winked at him, an slight spark in her beautiful amethyst eyes. That was all the authorization he needed.

With a quick, but simple, motion he got rid of the 'your hand in my personal bubble' by moving his elbow towards his own body once it was above his opponent’s forearm. Like that, turning his elbow in an awkward position for that articulation in particular -his hand's grip strength long forgotten. Once the hand had been completely removed from his shoulder, he stretched his' -taking advantage of the position as he positioned his own hand below his opponent's arm- seeking his throat.

The whole exchange lasted maybe a second or two

“No, I believe you are done with her.” Brunette #1, obviously surprised, took a moment to realize the turn the situation had just taken. A wonder, actually, considering the lack of oxygen should be enough for someone to react- even if in a pathetic way.

He had to admit: he had enjoyed it; shutting his mouth had been an actual relief. But his attention was turned to a couple of the guys that until recently had done nothing at all to contribute to either party. Almost as if they knew they somehow had to protect that guy, Leo though. Perhaps they belonged to some kind of lesser families that barely were important enough for their children to get into the institute. Whichever was the case, they began walking towards them, probably thinking they'd be worth something in middle of the, really one-sided, conflict.

His own smile —his' being an almost perfect match to Isara's, as Edward often expressed— finally came to light when by a simple stare they remained still and silent- he'd have to give them a cracker later or something. “Think he'll be dead weight?” Leonidas spoke, turning towards his self-named dearest in a very casual way.

“Maybe as bait he'll be worth something.” one more smile was drawn over their features. But, enough with bothering the poor idiot; this would be just what they needed for the plan they'd come up with in silence.

“Don't make me regret this.” was all Leo said before releasing his beaten opponent. In the same silent way, as previously demonstrated, he rose an eyebrow to his friend.

“Very well,” Isara began, “I have already made my choice, I hope you don't mind." She used her finger to quickly point out the few members of her probably improvised team as Leo approved them one by one; not that it was needed -it was simply another precaution. So, the spearmanship's captain and 3 more random guys that he didn't know a thing about but somehow seemed reliable enough, plus the two musketeers he had brought, and of course Isara. Yes, they'd do the trick.

“You heard her. The 'chosen ones', please come this way.” To his surprise they actually followed without making a sound. Every single one of them walked silently and got out of the music class as commanded, leaving only the three previous members, Isara and the rest of the teenagers that happened to not been pointed out. Odd, he thought once again. It was as if they'd lost their own wills, not caring for life nor how did he choose to use theirs.

Was it due to the demonstration of obvious physical advantage? Or did Isara already have this much influence over the present classmates? It was, indeed, possible; he sometimes forgot of her social status, and how well she played the part. They couldn't object the likes of her, even in this kind of situation.

It was what they called a 'a noble's honor', to bow their heads to the next in command, and it was near absolute. That was just ethics though, a silent agreement and one almost no one chose to follow; unless it was threatening to their social standing to disobey, and such kind of scenarios. Still, Leo was truly marveled that such an amount of them followed without much more than a nod from a few.

He motioned towards the door when a crackly voice stopped him.

"Wait!" yes, here it came " what about us?" seemed like he had finally recovered his speech, huh. Breaking him had been almost too easy; what a disappointment.

"You're on your own." Brunette's face was suddenly covered with the crimson of anger; his fists were clenched. He now knew he was no match to this fellow, but he would not accept death that easily, he'd fight, he had to live! He, of course, didn't want to die.

"You can't leave us here," he murmured "you can't!" almost an order, at the edge of a beg.

"Oh, but I can, actually, we are." In a desperate attempt to stop that nonsense, he walked towards Leonidas once more time.

"You're not leaving us behind." he stated.

Leonidas simply moved quickly to his side, with such ease that it seemed more like part of dance than a move one would've practice in order of taking down foes. He easily found the weak spot between his ribs and smashed it with enough strength that it would bend awkwardly without breaking. The effect was immediate and the poor guy fell on his knees grabbing his chest —yes, the sudden lost of air must have shocked him quite a bit.

"I really don't like to repeat myself." he answered. Then, glanced at Isara, who understood and began, once again, acting.

"B-but, where will we go?" her every feature filled with hopelessness; fear shining all over her eyes.

"Do not fear, dear. Although the way we came is blocked by the so-devious creatures, there's still a way;" as if he was telling a secret he lowered his voice "we shall run towards the eastern gate of this building, remaining at all times at the wall's margin so we can run if anything happens."

She rolled, almost imperceptibly, her eyes. Damn fool, always getting carried away with these kind of things. He appeared not to understand the term 'over acting'. Oh well, she might as well follow his lead.

Suddenly Isara rushed, in a very dramatic way, to his arms once again. Did she enjoy doing so? Sometimes he wondered. Of course she did, she was aware, after all, of his aversion to most of physical contact. It was more of an uneasiness, with her at least.

"You'll protect me, won't you?" she asked him, at the verge of what would have been perfectly realistic tears " You must stay with me. Don't you dare leave my side!"

"I won't," he whispered back "I promise."

Brunette #1 seemed to be considered somewhat of a leader for the remaining people. For when the "chosen ones"— plus the newcomers to the room— left, not one of them seemed to attempt chasing after them. They probably wouldn't unless the order was given. Funny enough, said guy, who was supposed to lead them and such, was still trying to catch his breath. Leonidas almost laughed at the sight.

He'd give them 3 minutes, tops.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Bastion
Review
Bastion wrote a review Review · Aug 12, 2014

Well. wisegirl22 sort of covered everything there was to cover, as well as I'm not to great at doing reviews anyhow. (Learning~) So I'll just say this - It was very nicely written, grammatical errors aside. I'm definitely interested in the next chapter, as it does make me want to continue reading, which is always a good thing! As for this poor excuse of a review, I'll definitely have to get better at reviewing, considering if I don't know what I'm doing in a review, how can I write a review telling someone they're doing something wrong! Keep it up, the story has potential.
~Bastion

Thank you!! I really do seem to have a lot of mishaps in the grammatical area but I do am trying to improve so thank you!
Jajaja and don't worry, it's enough to know that you liked the story. It makes me want to keep writting even more to know that there may be one or two people over here that would like to keep reading my work! :3

Definitely! And just as I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd check out my work! I'm actually interested in what other people think about what I write, because everyone perceives things on their own level. So in other words, it really gives you a larger outlook on your own writing than what only you would normally see. Oh my. I've been watching to much Vsauce. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you'd read some of mine and tell me what you thought about them! Thanks.
~Bastion

User avatar
erilea
Review
erilea wrote a review Review · Aug 11, 2014

Zafae0333, hello! I haven't seen you around much, you seem dormant on this site. Oh well, that's how most people are. I can't blame you. Please follow KatyaElefant...she's cool and would like the extra friends!

In this long, massive piece, you misspelled knew. I'm sure it was unintentional, and certainly not worth proof reading to find this little error, but that was what my unfortunately sharp eyes caught. And also, I might need some help explaining, since I haven't read your other chapters. Keep writing, though, I know your chapters are good ones!

"Leonidas new the place by heart..."

Anyways, there are two things wrong here. One, no capitalization is provided after semicolons. Two, I think you meant "its" instead of "Is'". Don't worry, many people might think semicolons are part period and therefore the letter after it is capitalized, but never fear, IT ISN'T.

"...the path; Is' image tormenting him all the way."

A few paragraphs\sentences later, you shouldn't put a comma before a dash, and even if you did, it isn't needed. Nada, zilch. Nothing should be there but commas in place of them.

"Chester knew little about Isara, —having met her just a few times and not even for long— but even like that he could guess she was related to the recent noises."

Remember, long doesn't mean complete. So, my friend, that is exactly the problem here. Long sentence, yet incomplete is out of the question.

"A girl a few paces to her right, getting quickly to her feet."

This whole part is a mess, and difficult to understand as well. Not to mention the sentence after that. Why did you state "now one standing tall" like I could understand it? Did you mean "major" instead of "mayor"? And in the latter sentence, what do you mean by "Is"?

"Leo shifted his eyes to the girl who was now on standing tall, as if nothing mayor had happened."

Later, "relieve" should be "relief". And the whole battle scene was just way to cray-cray. Why?...

"...shutting his mouth had been an actual relieve."

You need some punctuation after "began". And what is she saying? Gods...

"“Very well,” Isara began “Her, these one guy..."

Also some punctu here.

"...nope, no, neither him"

The comma should be after brought, not before "and".

"...he had brought ,and of course Isara."

No space after the quotation mark.

"“ You heard her. The 'chosen ones'..."

"" Wait!" yes, here it came " what about us?""

"" You're on your own.""

"" You can't leave us here," he murmured " you can't!""

"" Oh, but I can, actually, we are.""

"" You're not leaving us behind.""

"" I really don't like to repeat myself.""

"" B-but, where will we go?""

"" Do not fear, dear."

"" You'll protect me, won't you?"

"" I won't," he whispered back " I promise.""

According to my volcano of knowledge, you should capitalize the t in "to".

"to his surprise they actually followed..."

I think you meant "choose" instead of lousy "chose".

"...not caring for life nor how did he chose to use theirs."

"Had" is "have".

"Or did Isara already had this much influence..."

Try to not use spaces after quotation marks, and don't use hyphens when unnecessary. Or dashes. This was graceful and awesome, literally the definition of my favorite type of story. Keep writing!

-wisegirl22

Thanks!! And god, grammar really is kind of chasing after me (holding a scythe and everything).
Those are really a lot of mistakes on my part so sorry!! I really thought I had none over there.

Well, a few of those I believe were the equivalent of auto-correct when using the proofreader since I just checked it quickly so I may have changed it for a wrong option along the way (since it gives many...for example if it was a typo like 'sni', you could get sin, since, sinner etc, and I might have just chosen the wrong one)

Oh, and I do have an excuse for about two of those!! Isara is a character in the story, and in previous chapters I've used the 'Is' kind of short for her name, so whenever you see 'Is' over there, it's either 'cause I've recently used her full name and don't want to be too stubborn with it, or because I placed it near other full, and a bit long, names like Leonidas, or Edward.....I just have a bad habit of using it after periods and such so it may be confusing, so sorry about that one!!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I swear I'm really trying not to make too many mistakes, but somehow they simply end up showing up no matter what I do or try. So, until I have almost perfect grammar, I do apologize for it being hard to read....but know that I do am working on it.

I'll try to fix these up right away and thanks!

erilea replied · Aug 12, 2014

You're welcome, zafae. Honestly, I really discovered myself who "Is" was, only I was a little lazy and didn't bother editing. Myself, being a perfectionist in training, tried to check my eyes and adjust them every few minutes so they would capture every mistake.

Still, you really helped a lot. The chapter is already edited and I've gotten rid of all of those little mistakes. Thank you.
It was actually quite instructive, for example with the 'not using comas after or before dashes' since I do tend to use it and didn't know, or the one where I 'should not leave spaces after quotation marks in dialogues' because that's another thing I usually do and is apparently wrong.

English not being my first language, I'm afraid I don't know some of this stuff, or am simply used to reading it and just ignore it when writting.

Once again thank you! And I'll actually fix other 2 chapters I had already published so people will be able to enjoy those as well :3

erilea replied · Aug 12, 2014

Oh, okay. Are you Spanish? Any other language? I hope to see chapter four!

Nah, I was born in panama and raised in Costa Rica. Just these two, but I do am probably going to pick up japanese sometime soon :)
Yeah, I actually could post chapter four as soon as I come back from high school. I'll just bore my eyes into it and exorcise all the evil grammar I may find! Jajaja

Issue comes after that one since Im still working on it although the story is basically finished in my head... Anyway thanks jajaja I so seem to be thanking you a kot but still. I'll keep working on 5 and see if I can do as I intended and publish one or two chapters a week :3



“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
— Emily Dickinson