The clock struck twelve as Carina stumbled upon the craziest building. She had been treading through what was known as the Yewis Forest and had become tired. Before she knew it, Carina ended up in front of a tavern that seemed to be having a party.
Party in the pad, thought Carina. The building was labeled: "WFP Tavern".
"Awesome!" mumbled Carina drearily as she walked into the tavern and drowsily asked for some Procrastination Wine.
"Who might you be?" asked a cowled figure. The figure was a little bit on the large side and covered his body completely with a black cape and hood.
"Uh, I'm Carina," replied Carina, chugging a large dose of Procrastination.
"Greetings, my friend," said the cowled figure, "May I inquire what possessed you to enter this tavern?"
For the first time, Carina noticed that the entire tavern was bustling with people jumping around, jotting notes, and just chatting aimlessly about anything.
"Oh. I'm in a pad," said Carina, absorbing her surroundings. Pads were usually boisterous-- especially WriterFeedPads. Sadly, it seemed like Carina had stumbled upon one of the crazier pads.
Taking another long chug of Procrastination, Carina began to wheeze and sputter.
"Oh dear," said the figure. The figure patted Carina's back and then said, "You know, that reminds me of my farm."
"Your farm? What does me choking have to do with a farm?" asked Carina.
"Ah, let me explain," said the figure, "First, I must introduce myself. I am known as Yoshi. You've probably heard of me before, I bet. Figured I was going to be pretty popular around here."
"Who are you?"
"What!?" exclaimed Yoshi, banging his stubby green hand on the table indignantly and spewing fire with general annoyance.
After calming himself down, Yoshi revealed himself to be a big green dino.
"Okay, you see, I own a brain juice farm. A top notch one, in fact," said Yoshi, "A possible side effect of brain juice is wheezing."
"Ah, wait, did you just say brain juice farm?"
"Yes."
"I would love to have a tour!"
"You would? Of course, you would have to pay . . ."
"I will pay you in High-Fives!"
"What! High-Fives! No way! Yes! You can have a tour! Definitely! The best tour! Wheeeeee! High-Fives . . . !"
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
>.> <.<
This is such a late review, I am so sorry Yoshi. (This is gonna be short sorry)
- This was an amazing beginning to the brain juice farm venture. It had good flow and everything and no grammar mistakes.
- The beginning could be improved a little bit, it felt like it was just a little bit disjointed. Instead of craziest, I would say strangest or loudest, just to give the reader some idea of what the building is ya know?
- I liked the basis of it overall, (WFP) is so cool! you added aspects of it, like note taking, taverns and lots of chatting. You really changed it from some words on the screen to a bustling bar. I liked that.
Overall I liked it, I can't wait to read the next ones! Keep up the good work and have a great rest of your day!
- Stellarjay
thank uuuuuu
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayyy...this was hilarious. It surprisingly had the beginnings of an actual plot who I was not expecting but is definitely not unwelcome...aaand...well...it mixes the humor into the story really well. I definitely enjoyed reading it quite a bit.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Ohh...well...a very innocuous introduction to what promises to be a rather daring adventure I'm quite sure...we shall see I suppose. I can already sense that I might be falling off the chair laughing at some point in this story.
Oh yeah...we're starting off with the good stuff there aren't we?
Umm...reminds me of a certain Bruce Wayne there for a moment but it can't possibly be him...can it? Yeah no.
Oooh...this serious tone is doing wonders to making me have to to stifle my laughs.
I'm not quite sure that's all that sad....now is it? Reveal thy true self.
Poor Carina...
This is the part where I fall of the chair.
Did he just say...of course he did...
Of course she would...
That descended into a bit of madness there at the end...kind of ruins the earlier serious tone to be honest...and I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall it was a really fun story to read...gets your mind relaxed this one...and yeah...that's all I have to say.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
thank you so much for the review, harry!!!!!
@Carina
harry i think you will enjoy the next part of this story lol
Hi! Spunky here!
Grows:
The period needs to be on the inside of the parentheses.
Is she being sarcastic? If not, then this doesn't make sense as she was already aware that she was in a pad when she thought, "Party in the pad"
Why are three periods before the exclamation?
Glows:
Yewis Forest huh? Love it!
LOL!!! I think you just called me and a lot of other people out. I love the idea of "Procrastination wine"
Overall, this was super funny, and very creative! amazing job!
I'm pretty sure this is to show the trailing off of dialogue. shrug?
Thanks for the Review, though!
Momo is here to review this very funny story!!
i was laughing the whole time XDThis was hilarious, and it's safe to say that I love any story featuring YWS users. It makes you feel like you know the people, because you do! There was something I wanted to point out, so let's get started!!
I would recommend putting a bit more detail here! Where did @Carina sit to drink her Procrastination Wine? Who else is in the WFP Tavern?
That's it! Great job; please write more of these in the future!
Momo