Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
Pain!
It’s hard to describe what pain is. It’s too hard to know what pain is, too hard to feel it, too hard to bear it.
Pain is not something good but it's not something bad too.
Only those who experienced pain know what it means, and the feeling of pain is different to every person.
Maybe I’m too young to understand what pain is but also maybe I’m too old not to understand. My whole idea of it may be wrong to a person more experienced, but I may be right too.
pain have degrees: it can be very small, it can be very strong, it may be physical, it may be moral, it can be safe and it can be dangerous, it can be right and wrong, it can be bearable.
Pain can come out of anything, but the most painful is that that came out of Love. If you love you feel more pain. when you love a person it's painful when you lose him, when you love to dream it's the hardest to let it go, when you love the world around you it's the most depressing when it falls apart, the more you love life the more painful and despicable it becomes.
I’m not being pessimistic, there's happy endings that's what I truly believe, I truly believe that there’s a happy ending for every story, but there's no happy ending without passing through some pain.
Pain exists and we have no right to ignore its existence.
Pain is bad but we can't ignore that it can be good. It helps us not to forget.
When you lose someone you love, it's hard to just pass the remaining ways without him, but no one is able to not continue. even if you decided to take the same way, for example if he died and you decided to die after him that is considered "to continue" too because you're the one who chose to. But it's the wrong way to chose to continue through it, because that person never wanted you to follow him to death, maybe that's the reason he chose to die, because it's the only place you won't follow him to it.
Pain can be good, if you don't want to forget those who were precious to you, if you wanted to keep even the slightest feelings about something, pain is the right thing to remind you. And someone said "losing you is going to feel like hell, but you of all people knows the most that it's possible to live with pain"
I believe that every kind of pain exists but the only kind that I truly think that it does not exist is the unbearable pain, because even if it felt like hell, living with pain is truly possible.
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
Hello, Waltzing here for a review.
It's supposed to be 'different for[i]Firstly, it was a nice monologue-like piece. It had good, personal and honest insights about pain. There is evident potential in your writing and I hope some of the nitpicks I say here help you
Like all the other comments, this article sounded and formatted like a poem.
This part sounded too confusing. I suggest revising it with something like, "Maybe I'm too young to understand what pain is, but I might be too old to not understand it as well."
'Pain has degrees'
A little confusing again and a bit redundant. Try, "Pain can come out of anything, but the most hurtful, is the pain that comes of Love"
"If you love you feel more pain" ---> If you love, you feel more pain. Capitalization in "when" in the next sentence after this one.
There is supposed to be a semi-colon here but with the many things, you've elaborated, I'm not really sure if ";" goes to the first thing or in the next...
I am not pessimistic. There [i] are happy endings and that's what I truly believe in. The next sentence seemed redundant again. Try, "....that there's a happy ending for every story, but it won't be possible without passing though some pain."
Pain is bad but we can't ignore that. It can be good because it helps us not to forget/ It can be good. It helps us not to forget.
I think you mean, "remaining days" The entire thing is confusing. Though I understood what you're trying to say, it was all hurried in one run on. Another thing to strengthen essays is to elaborate one thing or another in neat sentences with forceful words.
And someone said, "Losing you is going to feel like hell." Are the next few lines part of the dialogue or a new sentence? 'You of all people know that it's possible to live with pain'
That ends my review. Good luck with your future writings!
-Waltzing
Hi there. Donizback for a mini review here.
Well, don't you think you could have made it a poem which would have looked so much better than what it really is right now? Don't get me wrong, it is amazing right now too!
Anyway, talking about the content of your "article", as you categorized this piece of yours, it is really good and deep. It kind of summarizes everything pain is to do with. Pretty smart work there, mate!
The punctuation weren't really accurate but I am sure there would be someone nice enough to recommend you to correct them too! Other than that, I really liked your piece of work but I wish it was a poem. Well, you can still try writing your work as poem, with the same theme, next time.
Looking forward to reading your new works. Have a great day. Cheers!
thank you very much for this great review! it's really great that there's someone who would correct my writings. I'm really new to writing in english so that's why I'm little confused about the type my writings should be and same concerning the errors.
I was just trying to write my thoughts and come up with something that may be even close to good.
I'll try my best to improve it, thanks again
Given that it was the first time you started writing, it was a great attempt. Glad I reviewed your work. Do let me know if you need anything
I would love to help.
Hi.
Ohhh, this is interesting. It's almost a poem, but in journal/short story form. It's very interesting, but had room for improvement.
There are quite a few errors in here that could be fixed with ease, and everyone likes a work that's nitpick free.
Some parts were a little confusing to me... For example;
It just made my head spin, as well as the fact that it was a run on sentence that felt rushed.
Besides the confusing-ness, I thought this was very well written with deep thoughts to it.
Keep writing,
~ EternalRain ^.^
PS Why is this rated 18+? 0.o
Hi! Thank you for taking some time to review my writings.
I was just trying to take out my thoughts and turning it into something interesting. I'm new to English so it has so many errors. Concerning the confusion, sorry about that, I tend to do that much and that's the most thing I'm trying to fix right now.
I'll make sure to do my best t make it better
PS as I see, pain is not something people under 18 years old should know much about it, maybe because it's not the right time for them to think about it, it's better for them to read something... more optimistic. That%u2019s my personal point of view: p
You're welcome! And Okay- didn't know that hahah.
PS Oh I see :O