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Sunset

by ycl474


Look at the sun, it's sinking down

into the ponds of pink

plunging inside the bathes of paint

it splashes blots of ink

The sky is smeared with color

orange, reddish, pink and yellow

the clouds are flavored to cotton candy

with a texture soft and mellow

Stirring up the tired hearts

overrun by worries and doubts

burning shades of crimson

right before the lights go out.


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51 Reviews


Points: 10
Reviews: 51

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Tue Apr 28, 2020 11:00 am
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LordGreenleaf wrote a review...



Hi there!

I found this poem starkly beautiful because of the sparse but heavily descriptive language that you used.

For example some of my favourite lines:

'in the ponds of pink'
'the clouds are flavored to cotton candy'

Overall I loved the structure, simplicity and imagery of the poem and would love to hear more!

LG




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Points: 36
Reviews: 4

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Mon Apr 27, 2020 4:44 pm
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Hanuli wrote a review...



Hey! Here for a review.

I absolutely had to review this poem because I love sunsets. And I think that you captured the moment of the sun setting perfectly. It was very easy for me to imagine that pretty sunset where the sky is orangeish-pinkish. I couldn't find any grammar-related things to point out, so I'm gonna go ahead and point out some bits that I especially liked.

"the clouds are flavored to cotton candy" (cotton candy seems like a fantastic comparison to clouds)

"with a texture soft and mellow"

"right before the lights go out" (perfect ending)

Overall, this was a lovely poem and I look forward to reading more of your works.

Great work!
Lynn




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6 Reviews


Points: 45
Reviews: 6

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Mon Apr 27, 2020 1:34 pm
GlasweJane wrote a review...



I love your descriptive use of colour and imagery within your poem and how it triggers the imagination. Not that it needs much stimulation - the sunsets where I am have been particularly beautiful these last few weeks, which is probably what persuaded me to read this work. If there's something I can appreciate more than a good sunset, its a good poem on a good sunset!

There is a great flow to the poem and I particularly enjoyed the last few lines. As I become accustomed to the beautiful imagery, my mind is introduced a few darker themes e.g. negative emotions, the crimson colour of blood and anger, and the darkness brought upon by the last line.

I look forward to reading more of your works.

Great work!

- Jane xo




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94 Reviews


Points: 1250
Reviews: 94

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Mon Apr 27, 2020 8:18 am
Gravitem wrote a review...



Hi I'm Grav and I'll be reviewing your work today!!!

I've got to say. That description sent "Hotel California" by The Eagles playing in my head. It was just rich. I have to say, the only thing I can say is I love this. Yeah I do this very often. I'm a big fan of rich imagery.

So, let's begin.

There were no grammatical errors. The poem flowed like the Thames. (I'm not from Londom XD). By flow, I'm referring to the flow of ideas and rythm both. Stanzas didn't seem out of place and were where they were supposed to be. Diction was nice and simple but did a fine job at constructing an image.

Looking at your poem as a whole without reading it, it doesn't feel as if its just about a nice image but reading it really leaves a good memory if that makes sense.

Anyway. I really don't know what else to. Everything was perfect about this. I loved the poem and I wait for more.

I really hope that my review helped you and helps you write the next poem with a wider smile, knowing that your poem is awesome and that everyone's gonna love it.

KEEP WRITING!!!!

Yours sincerely,
Grav :D



Random avatar
ycl474 says...


This is actually the first time i'm sharing my poems. Thanks for your review, I'm glad you liked it!



Gravitem says...


:D



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16 Reviews


Points: 120
Reviews: 16

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Mon Apr 27, 2020 7:55 am
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JenTep wrote a review...



That was really beautiful for the simplicity of the content. I wanted to bust out my painting equipment and create this image you created! Thank you for reminding me of the beauty I see every day and take for granted, it was really well done and I hope you enjoy your time here! What more do you have to come? Looking forward to it! It's the little things that really make the days great.

Peace and blessings,
-J.T.




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23 Reviews


Points: 405
Reviews: 23

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Mon Apr 27, 2020 7:51 am
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ShallowHouse wrote a review...



Hi, YCL!

I like your poem! When I read it, it made me want to look at the sun and just spend the time to see it set. And you know what? Sunsets are really great! Your rhyming scheme never strayed away! ABCB? Yeah!

Really, I'm not good with analyzing poems but you did a great job! Welcome to YWS and we're glad to have you here! <3

Wishing you the best,
ShallowHouse





I like to create sympathy for my characters, then set the monsters loose.
— Stephen King