Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Art » Other

E - Everyone

The Riddle and The Answer

by xxdarleneexx

You are the riddle and I am the answer. Now why dont you just figure yourself out because I want you to see me.



Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
89 Reviews

Points: 610
Reviews: 89

Mon Jun 09, 2014 4:17 am
Annaclare wrote a review...

User avatar
205 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 205

Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:11 pm
AEChronicle wrote a review...

Lol, this was awesome.

So short, so simple, but a lot of bang. This would go great as a cheesy pickup line.

Not much to say about it, as there's not much here to talk about. No nitpicks, so that's good. I can see how this would also apply to a romantic situation, which gives it a more interesting side than just a quick quote.

I can't comment on the writing, since there's not much writing, so, A+ there. If I was really desperate for a nitpick, I'd tell you to break the second sentence up with a comma, but I won't.

Thank you xxdarleneexx!

User avatar
60 Reviews

Points: 345
Reviews: 60

Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:35 am
StealTheWorld wrote a review...

Short and sweet :) I like that.

I think it would flow better as a poem. That way, you could put breaks a pauses to draw certain parts out. For example:

You are the riddle,
I am the answer.

There are a few punctuation errors I'd like to point out as well. The second sentence would sound better as two sentences. One as a question and the other as more of an afterthought. I'm not sure if this is what you were going for, but it seemed more dramatic that way :P Something like this:

Now, why don't you just figure yourself out?
Because I want you to see me...

I really liked the idea of the poem, especially with comparing them to riddles and answers. I could just picture someone waving their arms around, saying, "Hello! I'm right HERE." It was very enjoyable :)

No, it's not that you didn't succeed. You accomplished a lot, but, if you want to touch people, don't concentrate so much on rhyme and metre. Think more about what you want to say instead of how you're saying it.
— LCDR Geordi La Forge