Published March 4, 2009
June 10, 2oo8
5:31 am
Tayyluh: I couldn’t sleep. U?
Baitlyn: Nope! Today’s a day for graduation!!
Tayyluh: U r so rite, girlie! And tomorrows a day for celebration!
Baitlyn: yep.
Tayyluh: We’re just so grown up now.
Baitlyn: Yeah, hmm, graduating from the 8th grade. Such a huge accomplishment.
Tayyluh: Well…It doesn’t sounds so grown up when you say it like that. How about…Two strong women are going into highschool!
Baitlyn: uh, hate to break it to ya, but it sounds like…two mid-aged women never made it out of middle school.
Tayyluh: ughh. can i hear the speech ahead of time?
Baitlyn: *sigh* why not? ok, here it is:
My fellow American students:
It has been a joy and a pleasure spending most of my life with many of you. It was so great to be in this school with a bunch of close friends. But as we move onto highschool, things will get harder, friendships will fall apart, and teachers will get scarier. But you will find new things that you like, new friends that you hang out with, and, well, new teachers. What is the up side of that? Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you, and me, and say WOOO-HOOO to you and you and you. Thanks.
You like it?
Tayyluh: *ish stoked* you’re really gonna say this to the whole student body?
Baitlyn: yep! i hope they like it!
June 11, 2oo8
1:17 am
Tayyluh: oh my gosh. awesome party.
Baitlyn: i kno. and again, mark looked so cute in his polo. tho i kno he would rather be partying with u, me, Ashley, sunny, Mary, Keisha, and Toni then serving us our Denny’s pancakes that we don’t eat.
Tayyluh: happy birthday, btw.
Baitlyn: ha, nice try.
Tayyluh: what??
Baitlyn: im not 14 till 6:14 am. and don’t im me, cause i wont b up.
Tayyluh: o. well, i’ll hit the hay then. byes!
June 11, 2oo8
6:14am
Tayyluh: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR OLD BAG WHO NEVER GETS UP THIS EARLY WHO’S NAME RHYMES WITH SAINT LYNN WHO’S SCREEN NAME IS BAITLYN WHO’S REAL NAME IS KAITLYN…*BIG BREATH*…HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Tayyluh: *presents virtual birthday cupcake with a candle on it*
June 11, 2oo8
8:47 am
Baitlyn: Good morning. *blows out candle on cupcake* *stuffs cupcake in mouth*
Tayyluh: You got it? Yayy!!
Baitlyn: Yes, I eventually got it, after the FOUR LINED SONG. two and a half more lines than it’s supposed to be, thanks very much.
Tayyluh: Bah Humbug.
Baitlyn: ur sn should be TAYYSCROOGELUH.
Tayyluh: yep. so u wanna go 2 denny’s again? Mark’ll be happy 2 see u.
Baitlyn: 2 days in a forkin row?
Tayyluh: yep. cause that’s just wat we do. so u wanna?
Baitlyn: u bet. c u there.
June 11, 2oo8
5:43 pm
Tayyluh: I’m still pissed.
Baitlyn: y?????????????????
Tayyluh: cause u didn’t tell me u were going to get out of the forkin wheelchair this morning!
Baitlyn: well, i mean, my parents just took me to the hospital at 2 this morning and then the doctor said my ribs had healed. so i didn’t have to be in that thing anymore!
Tayyluh: well, that’s nice. can u use it if u want to?
Baitlyn: yeah, we have one in our front closet. why?
Tayyluh: cause what if u wanna go 2 an amusement park? u get the go to the ride immediately!
Baitlyn: oh, come on. that’s cheating the other people.
Tayyluh: well! ur still a handicap!
Baitlyn: yeah yeah, whateev. oh, did you hear? mark gave me his sn!
Tayyluh: OMG NO WAY!!
Baitlyn: yes! and he just popped up on my list! brb!
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139,481 Literary Works • 672,576 Reviews
Heheheheh great second chapter. I don't have any nit-picks, so I'm going to run to the other chapters.
*PEACEE*
_Writing for love is a passion_
haha this was hilarious
something we would say
i liked tis part better
so for bad critique, but it's good and my only suggestions are the same as my last post
Tayyluh: Bah Humbug.
Baitlyn: ur sn should be TAYYSCROOGELUH.
Did a month just pass? I'm sorry.. I don't remember what month it was before because I replied to other posts and then came back to review this..so I forgot. If it was then that was a big skip, however, if it wasn't then they both seem pretty normal for someone who got in a coma and someone who's best friend was in one.
I get that Kaitlyn is trying to show how its not really that much of an accomplishment, but it doesnt' make much sense to me. The comment is very contridicting, so I'm really confused.
I just like the speech because I'm starting to see some of their personalities come through now.
*cheers* that was something I told you in my last review, so I'm happy you added some personality in here
Wow..another month went by? This seems sort of jumpy, like nothing ever really happened imbetween those two dates..it sees...empty. I might suggest something. Like them talking about something halarious (sp?) that happened between them or something. Becuase I was like 'Whoah...another month went by in a second'.
This i really like. Especially the song. Yay for more personality. I liked the song. Especially the 'WHO'S SCREEN NAME IS BAITLYN WHO'S REAL NAME IS KAITLYN...*BIG BREATH*...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
yay for realisticness. The big breath part amused me by the way. (Oh, and I mean amused me in a good way)
Some of your endings (like this one right here --^) seem abrupt. I'm not sure if you were just breaking them into parts because some people are drawn away from a story if it is really long...which is sort of true...or something else. just though I'd point that out.
~MidnightVampire
P.S. you'll get more reviews if you critique more. (We've got this 2:1 rule ratio thingy. critiques to posts by the way)
P.P.S. I forgot to welcome you to YWS. So WELCOME!!!
P.P.P.S. PM me if you have any questions, comments about my review, if you want a review, or you just want to talk.. : )