I know, it's kind of amateurish, but this is one of my first poems.
You can look out the window
And see that the sky is blue,
But you will never know I'm here
Unless the trees brush, too.
You make me
and you break me,
and yet you cannot see me.
You feel me
The Earth seals me,
And yet you could never be me.
Hurricanes,
They are my mother.
I love her, but
I am only
Her child,
Very mild,
Not as wild.
You make me when you breathe, and
Break me when you stand.
On a hot summer's day,
I'm the soft wind.
Very grand.
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Canary word: Present
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Hi there,
I love the simplicity of the poem, and you showed great creativity in it. I also think that something to make your poem better is to reword the last line. I have a problem about wanting to finish a poem in a hurry and not really thinking about my wording and how the last line ties the poem together, and your last line reminds me about that. I really do believe that you can think of a new line that would really tie your poem together a lot better.
I also believe that you can reword the line above to make your poem flow more together. Mainly I suggest you change the word
Overall, your poem is quite beautiful. I think your going to be writing very beautiful and amazing poetry later as you write poetry more and more. I hope this helped.
-Morgan(:
I like it !!!!! "You make me when you breathe, and
Break me when you stand." Great Job !!!!!!!!!!!