Published November 15, 2011
This one is very random. It's not like I'm suffering this whole depression thing anyway. I just thought that I want to feel those 'emotions' for one second (hehe) because I know someone's out there suffering alone. So,I hope you enjoy and feel free to give your review. 
It was dark and stormy night,
I was drowning in my own mind.
I submerged quicker and deeper;
Into my own incomprehensible mind.
I was searching for an answer,
Why do bad things always stay in me?
These devilish thoughts tortured me;
And almost impossible for me to escape.
The clock’s striking at 2.00 am;
I shut my eyes to ease the pain.
Partial of me hoping for silence,
I let darkness to conquer my grudge.
Another night had gone so fast,
I dreamed to end this wasted pain.
I couldn’t sustain any longer,
Body burdened by my heavy heart of stone.
I pulled away to face the pain,
I walked down this broken path.
For one second I find hope,
But it drifted away to sorrow’s hold.
I couldn’t go on pretending anymore,
Behind this mask I suffer loneliness.
“Are you okay? Will you be just fine?”
But none of them never really wanted to know.
This pain visits me every single night;
It hurts to take every single breathe.
I took a razor to paint my wrist,
Hoping a cut to break my vein.
One last time I’m still hoping,
That someone will hear my sorrow cries.
I was searching and wait for nothing,
I ran towards the end of life.
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140,237 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
I think you did we'll considering you aren't writing from experience! It's very difficult to discus a topic we ourselves are unfamiliar with! You are writing to be relatable and that's good to an extent and often depression is an easy topic to write about because we feel it the strongest and I feel if this is good when the topic isn't personal it will be even more amazing when it is personal!
I was drowning in my own mind.
I submerged quicker and deeper;
Into my own incomprehensible mind.
I was searching for an answer,
Why do bad things always stay in me?
These devilish thoughts tortured me;
And almost impossible for me to escape.
The clock’s striking at 2.00 am;
I shut my eyes to ease the pain.
Partial of me hoping for silence,
I let darkness to conquer my grudge.
Another night had gone so fast,
I dreamed to end this wasted pain.
I couldn’t sustain any longer,
Body burdened by my heavy heart of stone.
I pulled away to face the pain,
I walked down this broken path.
For one second I find hope,
But it drifted away to sorrow’s hold.
I couldn’t go on pretending anymore,
Behind this mask I suffer loneliness.
“Are you okay? Will you be just fine?”
But none of them never really wanted to know.
This pain visits me every single night;
It hurts to take every single breathe.
I took a razor to paint my wrist,
Hoping a cut to break my vein.
One last time I’m still hoping,
That someone will hear my sorrow cries.
I was searching and wait for nothing,
I ran towards the end of life.
Your poem is very nice, I like it but the subject you're talking about is all over the place. There isn't one thing that you stay with throughout the whole poem. The verses need to flow together more, their choppy. Also the verses need to be a little shorter or you need to have something grab the reader at the begining. To some, this may be a little to long for them, and if there is not anything to grab them. They won't read it. Just a few tips, please don't take this personal. Thanks~
~Randi (Alabaster)
Hey xhellysmx
I am no pro in poetry but honestly i love this poem.
I hate that sometimes this is true. Haha..You are good with the punctuation.
But there is a sentence that kinda disturbed my enjoyment while reading it.
-Snoweary