Young Writers Society

Heyo xMaggie, I don't usually find or review these kinds of things, but it's going to be in the Green Room in awhile if someone doesn't, so let's jump right into it.

From an outsider perspective the descriptions of these characters that you have are a little confusing, because we don't know the context of which they're in. It seems to be a fantasy story with cats involved or some other animal, but I'm thinking they're cats from the way that you describe them. We don't really know the plot of the story and I think if you're going to post an outline of your characters, that's something beneficial and important that should come with it. If not a long description of the plot, a summary of the story that these characters are in. I'm wondering at this point if this is some sort of fan fiction story for the Warriors books.

I'm not a fan of them myself, but that's what it seems to be at this point since the characters you describe here have similar aspects to ones in the books--at least the few that I read. You also use similar terms such as talking about the mother and father and how they flirt with each other and everything of that sort, though it could just be a book about cats that are the main characters. I don't mean to point out that it's similar to something else but I thought that would relate to the review.

Something else that I wondered is why you didn't have a profile on the character of Cloud though you did on the other two characters. They seem like someone who's brought up a lot and they seem pretty crucial to the story. We see that Jinna and Arlow are siblings, though we don't get a whole lot on the description of their father compared to their mother, but this could be because they never knew him. Or at least, they share in common not having a father which I wonder if the father is dead or if they may meet him in the future.

I hope I helped and have a great day!

Heya! So I'm not exactly sure how to review this but it's been in the green room for some time without any kind of love. These are your characters, and as such I wouldn't want to offer any changes to them because characters are special to their creators. I will offer the advice that I can, but feel free to ignore it because like I said, I completely understand.

Right off the bat this sounds to me like the basis for this family is similar to that of a cat's life. I assume were these two to have a story together we would be able to see more about the social workings of the characters. I like what you've done so far, but I also know character creation can be so much more fun than just this part. You've developed personality and solid reasons behind it, but there are so many details to add that could be fun coming up with. Their birthday, height, more details on their colors and bodies (example, Arlow could have a missing tooth and then you open yourself up to a new opportunity to make a story for it and develop his character further). sketching them out could be super fun for you as well, not everyone feels they are a good artist but no one knows your vision better than you and if you sketched it out you could be given opportunity to add more. Once I drew a little girl who was one of my characters and realized she had a very plain appearance. I ended up giving her three freckles by her eye and had some big story behind it, it was cool.

All in all you have the beginnings of a really great story. Clearly you are well prepared to take these characters and put them in a situation. Which now that I think about it is another opportunity to develop them and decide exactly what type of person they are based on how you direct their decisions. It's a wonderful process and I hope you continue on with these characters. Thank you so much for sharing!