Our Masterpiece

Your body is my canvas, and although
I own no paints,

(They dried up underneath my bed
amidst a pile of old children’s toys and
lost puzzle pieces that are owned by
my under-the-bed monster guy.)

I can touch your skin and drag my fingertips down your flesh and
Paint a scene of life and love amongst your pores.
I was never a painter, but
I’ll use my heart, and while you shiver we’ll create
a master piece on your olive complexion.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Pacific_Sky14
Review

I pressed the "liked" button 'cause this is really good. I can see love in here...and I see the whole idea you created. About how love paints the way for you...this was ok. Keep writing, :)!

~Sky

User avatar
Ross
Review
Ross wrote a review · Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:51 am

xKelle_Bellex wrote:Your body is my canvas, and although
I own no paints, You put an unusual metaphor here. It's extremely easy for those metaphors to backfire. But you manage to make it work! Another amazing beginning.

(They dried up underneath my bed
amidst a pile of old children’s toys and
lost puzzle pieces that are owned by This made me chuckle. It doesn't fit, yet somehow manages to blend in the rest of the poetry. That's an amazing feat.
my under-the-bed monster guy.)

I can touch your skin and drag my fingertips down your flesh and
Paint a scene of life and love amongst your pores.
I was never a painter, but
I’ll use my heart, and while you shiver we’ll create
a master piece on your olive complexion.


Okay, Kelly. Let me get straight to the point.

Is this about sex? Like, seriously. Because the last stanza adds a touch of sensuality. And I'm not saying it's bad. But it just took me a bit off guard. I never expected eroticism to come so smoothly through metaphors.

This is all praise, basically. I love this. I cannot say enough.

GRADE: A

User avatar
Quetseli
Comment

It's love. I sense that someone is trying to show how much their love is worth and how they see it by giving it the idea of a painting and how they try to give all they can to them. It could have different meanings and that one is mine. :3



I didn't want to slow time, I just wanted to make a little rock.
— MomoMajesty's brother