Young Writers Society

I like it. It's a very solid poem, if not a bit hard to read. I really want to review this, but can't find anything to critique. It's really good. I can't wait to read more of your work.

Amazing.

Hey xJade wow this is such an amazing poem. What I like from this poem is that it is different in a good way, the words rhyme and I really love the quote because it is true. That was a great idea to like show that nothing is perfect in that way like this was one of the first work I have read that you did. You are so talented and gifted because I just feel like reading more of your work. If I was not that busy today I would I have read all your stories but I will definitely read your stories tomorrow.
I was also thinking of writing a poem if you have any tips of how to write such good poems please share with me if you don't mind.

Hey xJade wow this is such an amazing poem. What I like from this poem is that it is different in a good way, the words rhyme and I really love the quote because it is true. That was a great idea to like show that nothing is perfect in that way like this was one of the first work I have read that you did. You are so talented and gifted because I just feel like reading more of your work. If I was not that busy today I would I have read all your stories but I will definitely read your stories tomorrow.
I was also thinking of writing a poem if you have any tips of how to write such good poems please share with me if you don't mind.

Hey!

I'm writing this review on my phone so it may or may not look like trash. We shall see.

This is a really creative format, and it really sets the tone of the poem itself. I've never seen anything much like this, to be completely honest. The emotion I'm getting from this work is frantic, yet strong and stubborn. I actually really love it. Moods like this are what makes life worth living, in my opinion. I'm rooting for the person behind this poem, whoever it might be.

Side note: stubborn people are some of my favorite.

I really enjoyed this poem. It was so well written that I could see it in my mind's eye.

I can't wait to read more of your art!

-M

Hey! I really liked the poem, but I feel like the capitalization distracts from the overall message. The font reminds me of that spongebob meme where he's doing the chicken dance lol.

The poem itself though is SOLID! Format was good, rhythm also good. Overall a really nice piece =]

Hey! I really liked the poem, but I feel like the capitalization distracts from the overall message. The font reminds me of that spongebob meme where he's doing the chicken dance lol.

The poem itself though is SOLID! Format was good, rhythm also good. Overall a really nice piece =]

Hey! I really liked the poem, but I feel like the capitalization distracts from the overall message. The font reminds me of that spongebob meme where he's doing the chicken dance lol.

The poem itself though is SOLID! Format was good, rhythm also good. Overall a really nice piece =]

Hey Jade!

This is very creative, the meaning and words themselves go well.

I did have trouble reading it a little though. Probably cause i didn't expect it, lol.

Anyway........

Its wonderful read, its a great poem, very creative and the meaning/ emotions are relatively easy to figure out.

I love what the poem is based on personally and i can relate to it.
Which makes it a even better read.

That's all i can say so I'll leave it at that.

You did great!

Wait no, you're doing great!

Keep it up! Your friend Anma

Hey there.

So, the first stanza stands out the most to me. "But honey I'll still take 'em, with my demons I will plea, I'll swing without a rhythm." Probably the strongest, most coherent and digestible part of the poem.

The second stanza lacks a prominent meaning. "back and forth" creates a nice flow/connection with the previous line, since "swinging" is a back-and-forth type of thing, y'know. But the second line really stands alone in the poem. Not in a profound way. It's kinda just there and it doesn't know what to do and it's struggling to speak for itself. It seems like it was just thrown in there for the rhyme. I just can't see how it relates to the rest of the poem, you feel?

The third stanza has a really nice flow. I dig it. It is kinda plain though? Don't get me wrong, I understand the meaning, I think it's a cool idea, but it has the potential to have been said more creatively. I mean, I've heard things said that are very similar to what you have here.
I respect your message about trying to stand out in an imperfect world because you just might as well. And if you really feel that way, then all the more reason to shake it up a little and get more creative with your wording. I have no objection to a rhyming poem, but once it starts to feel stiff and strained, maybe it's just better to ditch it and not force something to rhyme, because a forced rhyme is a wide-open gateway to confusion.

Hopefully this all made sense... It's probably been a year since I've written a review, but I tried my best. Hang loose and don't let your skies get too cloudy~

Hi Jade!

I really love your poem and I completely agree that "nothing is perfect so we might as well try to stand out." I just have a few suggestions, though I don't know that much about poetry. I feel like the syllable count is a bit uneven, since you start the first stanza with all seven counts, then the second one has eights, and the final stanza has a 5-5-4-5 pattern. Just a suggestion, but you might want to add some other syllables like:

ThEy AlWaYs BaNg On ThE DoOr

BuT iVe LeArNeD To TuNe ThEm OuT

ThEy HaVe MaDe Me CrY bEfOrE

bUt NoW I'Ll LeT tHeM sHoUt.

But your poem is still SUPER AWESOME just as it is! I really love it! Keep writing!

~Sivershade797

Hey Jade!

Hope you're doing well. I'm here to give you a review/compliments. Okay, so, I really like the structure of the poem. Especially the way you wrote it out. <3 The place where you got the rhyming perfectly is the last part. To me, I think the best part's the last.

Okay, and there were a few parts where you forgot to add the apostrophe. So you may wanna go over your poem one last time and add all the apostrophes. Anyways, I would again, like to tell you, that every single poem you write is magnificent!

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

I really enjoyed this poem. I found the layout very interesting, as well as the subject of the poem.

1. "bAcK aNd FoRtH oUr LiTtLe GaMe GoEs/FoR ReD bLoOd JuSt StAiNs A wHiTe RoSe"
First off, I must say that these lines caught my attention because I'm currently studying the White Rose Society (Quite an interesting topic). Those lines also give the reader a mental image, maybe representing something peaceful and kind gone sour.

2. "ThEy BaNg On ThE DoOr/BuT iVe TuNeD tHeM oUt/ThEyVe MaDe Me CrY /sO i'Ll lEt ThEm ShOuT"

I really like these lines. They connect to the first two lines ("tHeIr CoMpLeMeNtS aRe EmPtY/bUt HoNeY IlL sTiLl TaKe Em") very well, and I applaud you on that.


One thing I don't like is the use of "~". I find them kind of unnecessary, but whatever works for you. This was a truly interesting poem, and thank you for sharing it.