Published April 19, 2010
In my field of imaginary flowers,
I lay inside myself for hours,
watching black tainted raindrops fall
onto my cold dry face as I call
for my soul to return back,
So that I can escape from this bitter black.
I am so tired of lingering in the doorway,
while with me my memories will not stay.
As the wind whispers through the trees,
emptiness fogs out the pleas
of silver lined clouds
wrapped in paper shrouds,
Once again longing to be free.
But now I can see
that neither they nor I will be.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thanks, I was going for a dark dream-like feel. It is mostly describing how I feel, how I just want to wake up from my life.
It a interesting poem, but I'm not too sure about the meaning. Is the person dreaming of something different to happen? Or is he/she dreaming of getting a way from something he/she does not like? To me, it has different stories all rolled into one, but you did very well on it! The rhyming was beautiful and the words you chose give it dark yet dream-like feel. Nice work!