Published March 31, 2007
This is my very first post and it's not very good but I was just wondering what you guys thought....so please be brutally honest!
My feelings for you are strong,
but I can't seem to find the strength,
so much is left unspoken
It is as if I have no voice,
but instead I sit and dream of what will never be.
Thinking of every word you said,
every smile you made,
the last steps you took,
until the next day where I can relive my heart skipping
a beat once again
Even though you hesitate to be yourself
in my eyes I see you as perfection
If only you knew you weren't just a shadow
but the light that shines within me
Every minor hint that reveals nothing
but a new side of you is a path that
leads me to the real you
Loving you fills my heart with gladness,
but knowing we will never be feels as if
the journey has never begun
My love is nothing but a secret
that shall never be revealed
THE END
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,690 Literary Works • 672,653 Reviews
That was really good but here's a few things I saw
You should make that a little bit more of an actual idea, that makes sense,
but still not an actual sentance, like you would put in a story.
That was a part that I thought would make no diffrence if it was in the poem or not, and those are type of parts you don't want because the reader will get bored and/or confused
but other than that, it was a really great poem, keep writing...
-Brooke
that was good i really liked it