Published June 30, 2011
We used to be friends
a long time may I add,
It's like you forgot,
everything about that!
I don't talk to you now,
I wonder if you still think about me
I hear about your life,
you are so happy.
My life you ask?
It just feels empty.
I miss you so much
not that you care;
you only think about yourself,
but what we had was so rare.
You may hurt me now,
You can hurt me again,
I just want you to know
I am done with everything.
We were the best of friends
until you forgot about me,
it's like I was in a new world
without eyes, so I couldn't see.
I felt so alone, because of you,
I miss you friend,
For some reason I still do.
Thank you for reading, please comment.
By the way, I'm not very good at putting commas etc. into the poem, so but I don't really care about that.
All I want to know is if I brought the point across? 
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141,741 Literary Works • 675,652 Reviews
yes, your poem brought out the point!! i loved reading it and I am loving reviewing it. It was magnificent and the rhymes were beautifully put. Though the first stanza seemed off at the end..Because you weren't using the same rhyming pattern. but I should understand that, I do it all the time. I love your work, keep writing!!!
Hi!
I'd say you got your point across. Or well, I think I did. So, I'll tell you what I got from it and you can decided wheter that's what you were planning to get across, yes? Okay, so this is what I got from it: the narrator and someone else used to be friends, quite good friends from the sense of it. But then the friend abbandoned the narrator and the narrator now feels sad because of it. Was that what the poem was trying to get across?
Without further ado, I shall get onto the review. I think that this poem could probably use a bit more emotions and feeling put into it. At the moment, it sort of seemed like a bunch of thoughts about how someone misses someone else. Yes, there is some emotions, but I don't think it'd hurt if you put a bit more in it. People would definitely feel more for the narrator if you put in more emotions. Also, a quick note if you do decide to go ahead and edit it, when you put emotions in, don't just tell us. Don't say 'I feel sad without you'. But rather show us, like, 'the tears stream down' or something along the lines that. Another thing that I have to warn you about would be cliches, the example I put there is a cliche. When you use a lot of cliches in a poem, the poem gets really boring, unoriginal and written a hundred too many times. So, I'd suggest you to beware of cliches when adding emotions in it, if you plan to that is.
I did like the story behind the poem though, I'm sure that topic is one that a few of us could relate to. A pretty good poem overall. Keep it up!
Ima guess the point is that is that the person who is 'speaking' in the poem has had their friend abandon/leave them? If so then yes.
1)I really don't look for grammar(I'm not really the best at it myself), but as far as I can tell their weren't any spelling errors.
2)I've never been good at poetry but the fact that you give this poem a kind....flow....that makes me want to say congratulations.
3)The theme of the poem(the first thing I put in the review) was cool.
Over all I like it.