Lol! We must always be on at the same time. Thank you for your comments. I originally had Johanna killed off. But when I was about halfway through Nano I went back and added here. I was at a dead end and the story was beginning to die out. I think Johanna has a good part in this story and plan to have her involved in the second one.

The way I did Nano was jump around. There were some parts of the story I knew what to do and worked on them. Then I went back to work on what I would call the weaker parts and developed them better. That was how I was able to do 2,000 words a day and had time to concentrate on the problem areas.

Bard shook his head in confusion. "What have I done?" he asked his friend Trent. "What happened to me?"

Okay you had me confused with this sentence. Trent just killed Johanna and Bard is calling Trent his friend. Then I read further and realized it was a spell. So that is an excellent way to trick the reader.

I also liked how Johanna was not actually killed.

I like how your chapters are. You have one that was pretty long, then this one is shorter. So it gives the reader a break after reading a long one. Other than that, this is excellent.

I did not notice any gramma or spelling mistakes. However, when I read something I don't look for these, unless if a story is full of mistakes.