The world is painful. It swirls around you and picks you up in its misery, and even in the brightest of times it throws you into darkness before long, before the sun can warm your shoulders and bring color to your cheeks, before the joy can thaw your heart. Its bitter wind surrounds all that is, swallowing and overcoming even the bravest, the strongest. It lets up, at times, just enough to allow you to see into the world of the young and innocent, the world that once was, the world that should be. But always, it seems, you are pulled back into the storm, sliding and slipping and falling behind, grasping at invisible holds, reaching for dreams and aspirations that will never come into fruition. Life is full of this, this fight and anguish and sorrow. For so long, you keep up, dropping pieces of you along the way, but nonetheless keeping up, until that moment comes when it becomes too heavy, too unbearable, and you fall. You fall, and this world, this awful world comes and steps over you and forgets you, and all those in this world forget you too, and there you are left, in the fields of your struggles, buried by the remains off all that you had worked for.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Hi! Soooo, I thought about returning the favor since your review brought a smile to my face when I read it earlier today.
This is certainly something, and I'm really liking the way you put things down.
Definitely, I saw it got a bit confusing from time to time, but that doesn't mean you gotta rewrite it all. I'm no professional on narrative voices, though I felt this as a third person rather than second. Oh, oh, oh, and about the genre.... hmmm. I guess I'd just put it into fiction. Just General Fiction. It really depends on which elements you'd like to focus on, and I wouldn't suggest for you to crack your head thinking too much about that.
Seriously, though, I like the image you plastered on my mind. I don't know if it is what you pictured while writing it, but I so imagined this big tornado and chaos and all those natural elements combining with the words. I really enjoyed the painting-with-words job you did there.
Truly, I'd just check it one more time to make sure you said what you wanted to say and in the way you wanted to say it, because--story wise--you're good.
Have a nice day/night, love!!
Sincerely, Writer1204
Before I answer your questions, I want to tell you that I'm not really a pro at reviewing or interpreting literature so I'll just try anyway. I think this would be categorized as fantasy. Also, it's odd and difficult to read and understand. Please note that I'm not trying to discourage you from being a writer. I really hope that this helps you a lot.....
bloody...
Thanks for the feedback. I definitely agree that it's difficult to read, but I was trying out a different writing style so I wanted to see what others thought.
Thanks...
I have two questions about my writing.
One: What category would this be considered to fall under?
Two: Is the use of second-person narration interesting and engaging or simply odd and difficult to read?