Never Let Go

I walked up the porch steps for the third time that day. My heart was fluttering mercilessly and I was positive it would give away my presence before I even knocked. I waited for a few seconds to see if she would answer the door. When she didn't I lifted my large fist to the door and knocked once. Twice. No answer. Had my heartbeat really not been that loud? Or maybe they really did not want me here. My head slumped down and tears began to flow. I had been doing so much crying these days the salty taste was almost normal. I began to turn towards the steps to leave when the door swung open. Lina stood there panic stricken. A flicker of-relief was it?-flashed across her eyes.

"Marcus," she breathed. I stared into her face. Her soft hair was tied back into a hurried ponytail and her face was lined with worry.

When she never motioned for me to come in I was sure that I was meant to leave. Yet I couldn't. I loved her more than she knew and I hated leaving her. The pain of it was sure to kill me one day. I chanced a glance behind her hoping to catch a glimpse of Mika. Lina moved in front of me and caught my eyes in her own. The sorrow, and pain in them forced me to look away.

"Evangeline, what?" I only called her by her full name to show her I was truly concerned. To show I cared. I was sure she didn't want me here now, but for some reason I couldn't leave.

“Marcus, it's Mika. She is gone. I can't find her anywhere. I need you help.” I looked up at her again, horrified. Mika was gone. A small three year old girl, lost. And Lina was asking for my help? I took a small step towards Lina and wrapped my muscular arms around her frail, quivering body. After a minute she stiffened and tried to push me away. My heart tore. Again. Was that even possible? I had stopped keeping count of how many times my heart had been torn so long ago.

I stepped away from her, my pain clearly written across my face. But when I saw her looking past me into the street I turned. Standing there on the opposite curb was Mika. She had two roses in her tiny hands that had clearly just been yanked out of a garden, because of the dirtied roots on the end of their stems. I was so overcome with joy and relief I almost fainted on the steps. I could hear Lina sobbing with joy behind me. Our little girl was safe. Nothing else mattered.

I started to run down the steps towards her, a huge smile plastered across my face. Just as I reached the grassy front lawn a car screeched around the corner. Mika was in the middle of the street now and the car showed no signs of stopping, or even slowing. Before I could even call out or take a step forward it was upon her. The solid metal frame knocked her to the cement ground and I could almost hear her skull cracking when it connected to the pavement. The entire truck was dragging her small body across the ground as it skidded in a wide circle. As it crushed her bones and cut open her delicate flesh my heart was completely destroyed along with her body.

Finally the truck stopped and Mika's limp and mangled body was still. I started to run towards her. My entire front was covered in tears. I was sobbing. I lifted her up and stared into her blank eyes. My beautiful baby girl. Gone. I felt Lina's arms wrap around me and her own tears were added to mine. I put one arm around her. This time, I was never going to let go.