Published January 27, 2014
Hey... The one you love left you because you wern't enough. So sad...
Your not The most popular person at your School. Too bad...
Your constantly being put down For fun How tragic...
Imperfections... Flaws...
But you still get up And dust yourself off. You still get out of bed knowing what is coming your way.
Hope...
You face The day thinking things will get better. Even your eyes start to get wetter.
You always give it your best shot. No matter what problems you face you give it all you got.
Instead of breaking down sad and crying. You get back up everyone wondering why your smiling.
Inner perfection... True perfection...
You may not be beautiful. Or smart. Or amazing. Or perfect. But your still you.
And thats more than anyone can ever be...
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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Try agin I suppose
Ello, Subtle here for a review. I like the simplicity of this poem and the reality behind this poem. The idea behind this, is wonderful. But you need to correct your grammar and spelling a bit.
I've noticed you've misspelt your instead of you are.You've used a lot of ellipsis in this poem, and I'm not sure if all of them are effective. In fact, I hate to be blunt. Most of them just disrupts the flow of the poem, so this poem would be benefitted from either a period or comma.
You have also capitalized random words in a sentence when they should no be capitalized. I'm not sure why this is, but these need to be de-capitalized.
This sounds a bit odd by itself, I get what you mean that hope will get your through troubles and trails. But perhaps you should expand this a little bit, because it could go a long way.
Remember the apostrophe in 'that's.
So, just watch out for those little things in the future but this was a really good poem overall. Keep on writing!
-S.s
Thanks!
Hey there wretchednot. Your poems is really good. I loved how you have structured your poem. And it just delivered the message you wanted to say real clearly. You have capitalized certain letters in between the sentences which I think is not really required. And you have spelled your weren't incorrectly which I know must have been an accident.
Lastly I don't know if its just me or if the sentence-
'The one you love left you because you weren't enough' is not quote right because I think there should have been a word between weren't and enough like good. But if it was meant to be that way I am sorry.
So other than that I loved the poem. Thank you. Love to read more of your works.
Thank you for the tips and such.
I will continued writing and hopefully improve a bit.
I appreciate the review
Thanks!
Emotions put to words.
It's awesome.
Passes the message properly.
Well done, my friend.
vluvswriting