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Spring is a beautiful woman

That bids me bye

Her leaving breath

The whisper of evaporating dew

Hair brushing my face

The long grass

Of the bed of my garden’s clearing

Unabashed lush, I, smile

Looking round the turn

For the sunflower glow

Of summer

Comments & reviews · 3
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wordsx3 Comment

Thank you Sassykat!

Ignatius, how would you use punctuation effectively in this piece?
Yes, there is a regrettable typo in the eighth line that I will edit. My neglect of periods, semicolons and their ilk were stylistic. Did it not work, then?

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Ignatius5453
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Well, apart from horrid punctuation, this was perfect. I loved your spacing, it's not in jumbles like a lot of other poems, it flowed perfectly too, and I loved the language in the poem. Keep Writing!

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Sassykat
Review

Unabashed lush, I, smile


You've screwed up the commas a little here, just look a little closer. Read it aloud, it helps, I promise!

What a nice poem. It has some great imagery. I very much enjoyed reading it. Except for that one nitpick I could see nothing wrong with it. Awesome, awesome job.



something about rain makes you want to be in love
— canopy