Published June 4, 2011
Spring is a beautiful woman
That bids me bye
Her leaving breath
The whisper of evaporating dew
Hair brushing my face
The long grass
Of the bed of my garden’s clearing
Unabashed lush, I, smile
Looking round the turn
For the sunflower glow
Of summer
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141,782 Literary Works • 675,763 Reviews
Thank you Sassykat!
Ignatius, how would you use punctuation effectively in this piece?
Yes, there is a regrettable typo in the eighth line that I will edit. My neglect of periods, semicolons and their ilk were stylistic. Did it not work, then?
Well, apart from horrid punctuation, this was perfect. I loved your spacing, it's not in jumbles like a lot of other poems, it flowed perfectly too, and I loved the language in the poem. Keep Writing!
You've screwed up the commas a little here, just look a little closer. Read it aloud, it helps, I promise!
What a nice poem. It has some great imagery. I very much enjoyed reading it. Except for that one nitpick I could see nothing wrong with it. Awesome, awesome job.