Life is like a really long trip taken by train. You are seeding along taking the occasional stare out the window to enjoy the scenery. Sometimes you’re passing through a bright beautiful meadow, and at other times you dive into the darkness of an underground tunnel.
However despite the promise of happiness or beauty or success further down the tracks, there will one day come that feeling of nostalgia. You’ll see something out of your passenger car window that will force you to beg the conductor to pull the emergency brake. But what good would that do? There’s no going back… stopping won’t change anything…the world around you is only going to keep moving and you’ll just be left behind, stuck.
In the same way, if you let the train get to fast all the scenery will soon be swept away into a blur of motion, and to look will consume all you are! You yourself will join in and be whipped into the soundless, meaninglessness of moving without competence.
So Friend, you must know that it is okay to slow down, or stop to enjoy the view, but don’t stay too long, Lovely, you have a journey ahead of you that must be traveled.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,028 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hmm, that was pretty interesting. I like how to used the analogy of life being like riding on a train and you described the feeling of nostalgia very well. I felt I could really relate to the story... Good job on it!
I would like to begin by saying that this an absolutely beautiful piece of writing. And I think its rather nifty that the title comes from a song by the band that's represented as your avatar. I like how the entire metaphor of life being a train ride and you really establish it with lines like
. Personally this line really resonates with me because I'm a soon to be high school graduate and I've had several moments where I want to stop, take a break, reflect on life and of its joys. In a matter of weeks I'll receive a diploma, I'll be an adult, friends will go to college, I'll go to basic, there really is no guarantee that I'll see these people again and the aforementioned line really brings that up. I would also like to say that it is really awesome how your story relates life to a train ride in every single line and there's no going off on a tangent. I do agree with tennishead on the length only because I'm rather saddened that the story doesn't continue but I like to argue against where he called for the ending. I think that was a perfect way to draw an end because we all have moments where we want to slow things down and we feel nostalgic but our travels are all different. Lastly, I'm impressed by something like this coming out of someone so young and I hope to read more soon.Thanks for the review! I'm glad that so many people like this idea and want me to expand it.
Hey, Tennishead here,
I enjoyed this story. I especially found that this part resonated with me,
If I had to say anything, it would be that this is a touch to short. You could have expanded on some of the ideas, especially at the end of the story about,
If you had given a bit more context on the situation, that would have been the icing on the cake.
Overall, a pretty good short story
Tennishead
Thanks for your review! I will probably try to expand on the idea a little more and come back with that later.
Hiya! Ashkitten here for a review. I like the idea of life being like a train ride, and I like the way you made it very relatable. I also like the moral of it all. My favorite part is the end.
I really didn't find anything wrong with it. I think it could be a little better if you expand on this idea, and give us a little more description in your comparison of trains and life. Over all though I think it was a great little narrative. i dont think I would classify this as horror though as you have done, was that a mistake or did you mean to do that? Well I really enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Thanks for your review! As far as horror that was a mistake, I had meant to put culture as it goes with life and life is culture.