z

Young Writers Society



Lovestruck and Lonely

by wombat


I wrote this in like ten minutes (tbh, it isn't my best) but I felt like I needed to write it because some stuff has happened recently with somebody in my year and he's a lot like the guy in this:


He was all alone,
And it's all thanks to you
And those friends of yours.
If only you would've seen it sooner.
You turned the whole school against him
And for no reason at all.
It got so bad
That when he went to order food
He would always get tripped up
And spill pasta all over
That new designer bag
That his Mum got him for Christmas.

He confided in you
And you threw it back in his face.
And that one time,
When he needed someone
To just be there,
You were out partying
In some girl's house.
Just remember
That while you were dancing
To the Jonas Brothers,
He was crying,
All alone in some stranger's house
Because you couldn't be arsed
To just pick up the phone.

Then just last week
When he asked you about your day
You told him to just go
And to not ever come back.
And then when he tried
You shouted at him down the phone
For near enough an hour,
Telling him just how stupid he was.
Even though it was all your fault.

He made you a badge
Because you were worried
About your History presentation.
It said 'Vote for Me',
But you didn't read it.
You just threw it back in his face
And when he asked you why
You told him that you didn't like him.
You just didn't notice the expression on his face
As you ripped out his heart and stomped all over it.

Then you had a netball game,
And he went and cheered you on.
You played Goal Attack
And in the final minute
You were ready to take a shot.
He shouted even louder
And you missed,
So your team lost.
When it was over,
You walked up to him
And punched him in the jaw.
You told him
That he had put you off
And it was all his fault.
You told him to just go away
And to never ever come back.
So he did.
And when your phone buzzed
You didn't pick it up.
So the next morning,
When the policemen
Came knocking at your door,
You started to cry
Because you knew it was all your fault.

----------

His Mum gave you a letter
That he had wrote just before he died.
You couldn't read all of the words
Because your tears smudged the ink.
But what you read broke your heart.
He loved you.
He even bought you a teddy bear
For when you start your first ever driving lesson
Because he knew you were nervous.
So when you had to say your final goodbyes,
All you could do was clutch it
As you set down the single rose at his grave
That you had bought as an apology,
And to say that you loved him.
And as the coffin is slowly lowered
Into the damp earth
Your final word
Is 'sorry'.


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6 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 6

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Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:21 am
Ethan wrote a review...



Wow... that was really sad and depressing. I thought you captured the mood perfectly, with the lack of formal rhyme and colloquial every-day language made it real. And very personal.

I loved the ending, even though it was very sad.

This is one of the most honest and clear-cut poems I have read.

I thought it was brilliant. :)




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7 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 7

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Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:20 am
Jemima says...



I got what you meant by you're poem, it was sad and emotional, even though you wrote it n 10 mins.




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112 Reviews


Points: 1172
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Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:18 pm
kris wrote a review...



I can't say that I'm very keen on this poem... It's a bit much like an essay with stanzas. It lacks any definate flow or metre, or even rhyme - should it need it.

The sentiment was beautiful, but it doesn't have much to it that makes it a poem for me.

Kris
xx





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