I fell and fell
down the hole,
where it ends
"Drink me" it beamed
"forget your dread
why be sad
when you can be
Love this poem
I see the poem as portraying the dilemma faced by those who can choose to numb either their psychological or physical pain either via drugs or suicide. The one speaking I understood as the person's mind itself temping him with those options. The hole I understood as the situation which seems only to deteriorate and in which the person feels as if he's falling towards oblivion but can't stop.The only trouble I had was visualizing someone attempting to drink a hole. Also, the reference to the Wheel of Fortune Show was a bit distracting. So tweaking those two will make for a stronger poem. IMHO
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started. *Sees poem and me and Grim simultaneously flips a table.* *Grim sits beside, eager to read.* *Both of us freak out even more because this is simultaneously Wonderland*So, in all seriousness, a few places are missing commas. Those places would be "I fell and fell", "where it ends", ""Drink me" it beamed" and "why be sad". The poem was terrific, as usual and I love that you went with the Wonderland theme!I am not going to bother with a meaning at the moment because I am lazy woman, and I can hardly keep my eyes open. (I really need to take a nap.)Overall, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Hello woahhitherepal! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review as requested!Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!Bold = grammar and flow issues.Italics = suggestions and overallStrikethrough = removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
@flumadiddle @DemonGoddess NEW POEM PALS AYE
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