Why can’t the world see me the way I see myself? For the vial disgusting creature I am? Every time I look in the mirror, I see a disgusting creature that needs to be put down. The voices in my head tell me to end it, to take it all away… but something stops me every time. The fear that nothing will change once I’m gone; that everything will remain the same. That no one will care.
I mean, will they? Will anyone care if I slit my wrist tonight? If I end it all with one slash of the blade? Of course not, who cares about the disgusting vial monster? Yet, I’m still expected to waltz around every day with a smile on my face whilst they say god awful things behind my back; while they enjoy themselves and laugh at the beast.
But my true question here is, what did I do to deserve this? What did I do to become this awful beast? To be treated so horribly? To be laughed at and called those horrible names? Don’t they see how much they hurt? Their hate just makes the voices stronger, and my hate for myself even greater. They are the reason for all my pain.
They are the reason for all the pain and suffering I have endured over the years. The fights, the burning of my hair right off my scalp, the endless humiliation. They turned me into the monster I am today; and nothing can change that!
Not their apologies, not walking away from the situation, not even drinking ‘till I can’t remember my own name. The torture and emotional scars will last forever. As for my hatred? I may be a monster, but I still have a heart. I hate no one, and for the most part attempt to love everyone. Though there are those who can’t be loved, I will never hate anyone. No matter what they have done to me…
Yet I look in the mirror and still see the beast staring back at me, with sad eyes, the monster is the only one who knows my pain. Because I am that monster, the beast, the “ugly duckling” if you will. Nothing can change the past, nothing can change what I became, but I can change what I will become. I am the only one who controls my destiny and how my life plays out.
I don’t want to be this monster anymore. I don’t want to go one living my life wishing for death. I want to be happy. I don’t want to see the monster every time I look in the mirror, I don’t want to keep hearing the voices, and I don’t want to keep pretending everything is okay when deep down I’m dying inside…
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,177 Literary Works • 673,034 Reviews
Hello! Here with a review of this piece.
Firstly, I'd like to say that the title was an instant eye-catcher. It really got my attention in the Green Room amidst everything else. Many people overthink their titles, but you hit the nail on the head here.
Now, let's move on to the contents of the story. This inner monologue taps into human emotion in a way that anyone besides an angst-filled teen has trouble tackling. Those few who manage to pull it off construct a stable work about an unstable being. I's say you hit the nail on head, even if you missed a few points. The beast contradicts himself within the piece, claiming he would never hate anyone, but earlier in the piece he also states that he hates himself. This is a clear contradiction and threw me off a little.
I think it would be easier to sympathize if there was some sort of understanding of why he's become this way, but perhaps you prefer a more subtle approach to the situation? If so, I won't knock you for it.
Condensing this down would make it into an excellent intro to a story about this main character. I'd love to read a full story based on this little snapshot into the beast's mind.
Thank you so much for the effort you put into this piece! Keep up the good work!
~SilloriaD
Thanks for the review! but just so you know, the beast is a girl.
Forgive my assumption. It is the natural flow to assume male when unsure in the English language, and it felt odd calling any living creature "it", so I hoped for the best and went with it.
Hi, here with a review. Firstly, the title grabbed my attention so well done for that. Next, when I read the piece it made me sympathies with this creature. However, it would help to know why was this creature getting bullied or why did it hate itself? Was it even a creature? But I really enjoyed the overall plot. It has some strong thought towards it and I hope the creature took the right decision at the end. Overall, I loved it and keep writing!
~Rosy234
(By the way this sort of reminds me of Twilight...)
Lol thanks for the feedback. And the beast isn't actually a beast; it's a reflection of how the character sees herself.