When someone is damaged and broken it takes a lot to restore them.
When someone is in pain and hurting it takes a lot to help them.
When someone gives up it takes the world to help them stand again.
Heartbreak is devastating, the heart mends with time and effort.
Something so precious as the organ that keeps us going can only be damaged so often until a sense of dismay is reached.
Trusting someone with the concept of your heart in their hand takes a great deal, wearing that heart on your sleeve as you profess something to another takes a great deal, discovering your emotions are entwined with someone else puts your heart on the line and takes a great deal.
Rundown.
Broken.
Damaged.
Turned to.
Happiness.
Joy.
Nervousness.
Her smile changed things. Her eyes brought light to darkness. Her laugh removed self-depreciation from my ears.
For years of putting others first, for years of being brought down while bringing others up, for years of effort going to others it was time for change.
She was the change.
She wasn’t in need of help, she wasn’t there only at the tough times, she was just herself.
She was who I wanted to be around, she was who I smiled brightest for, she was just bringing out a nervousness I haven’t felt.
This is her.
A smile so angelic I beg to see it, a laugh so cute it changes my mood, a kindness that shows from underlying sarcasm, a humor that just resonates with silliness, a trust that means she’s always there, an honesty that brings me to earth, an adorableness that just makes me feel joy, a body that moves with the comparison to a goddess.
Beauty is a term that can only be used here, because it resonates on the inside and outside of this amazing girl.
When low I have her around, when I’m at my high she knows.
When someone is damaged and broken it takes a lot to restore them.
When someone is in pain and hurting it takes a lot to help them.
When someone gives up it takes the world to help them stand again.
For some reason it only took her.
Her.
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140,766 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
I really like this piece. I could connect with the girl knowing what it's like to help others before yourself. I think you did an amazing job with describing the girl. I like how you connected the beginning to the end with a positive spin. If you could turn this into a poem of sorts would really cool as well. Maybe write the point of view as the girl and how she sees her lover. I think this piece was wonderful.
Hi! Welcome to YWS!! Thought I'd drop in for a quick review.
This essay (it's an essay, right?) of yours is very unique and full of emotions . It is unique in the sense that here, the words have been written with such fiery passion that with a few minor changes, this literary piece can acquire the status of a poem. The credits and compliments you give to your lover are a clear indication of the love and gratitude you have for her, this making this piece emotional and full of softness and purity. The single-word sentences (example- Rundown. Broken.) makes your essay more powerful and unique.
However, a line which I found to a bit, um, flawed was that in the sixth paragraph:
"...wearing that heart on your sleeve as you profess something to another..."
The word "profess" and "sleeve" can be misinterpreted and in such a case, the reader will assume wrongly that through the aforementioned line, you want to say that love (which is symbolized as a heart) is not all pure and limitless (as you've mentioned in the rest of the essay) and is, you know, sort of materialistic and superficial to the use of those two words.
Anyways, this literary work can be considered outstanding for someone like you who has recently joined YWS when people like us struggle to write even a single line. I did not notice any grammatical errors. The poem was well-written and was relevant to today's age. Keep up the good work!