How did I miss liking this masterpiece? Where's part two? There needs to be more! <3
Beautiful work you three (especially love the fun spellings, keysmash, and 0.0 emotions)
Keep writing 4evr!
~alliyah
How did I miss liking this masterpiece? Where's part two? There needs to be more! <3
Beautiful work you three (especially love the fun spellings, keysmash, and 0.0 emotions)
Keep writing 4evr!
~alliyah
That floored me.
Just . . . Wow. My class probably thinks I'm insane. Don't mind the person laughing their head off in the corner of the google meet. XD
Anyway. That poem . . . all poems should be made like that. I swear, that was just perfect. And the tiny "help" *chefs kiss*, perfect.
I really hope to see more of your collaboration. Have fun!
-Lizzy
Hey all! Plume here, with a review. This gorgeous piece has been in the green room for a bit, so I thought I'd help push it out. Still not the best at reviewing poetry, but here goes!
I really loved this poem! I think it's a super fun and ingenious collaboration that started out as probably a genuine question and it turned into something a little more poetic. It made me both laugh and gasp, and was colloquial and so philosophical at the same time.
Specific Things I Liked
I absolutely adored how the poem kind of traveled from one side to another as it slowly had this realization that it was becoming a poem. In my mind, it almost felt like the beat picking up in a song. It was like you had this realization and just rode the flow of it into something that ended up being really cool. (I also adored how the work broken was literally broken.)
I also really liked the line "are we the detergent or the clothes?/we are the child's stuffed animal accidentally caught up with the laundry." I'm always a sucker for asking questions in poetry, and the way this was phrased just gave it a certain je ne sais quoi that made it sound sagely. It was like a tiny piece of wisdom my brain couldn't wrap around, like I know it was important, but I didn't know why. I'm kinda rambling here, but you get the idea. It's a really cool phrase.
The ending was also really strong. I liked how it circled back to the original problem of how to spell pomegranate, and the little "help" at the end was funny and also closed it out really nicely. I just really loved the flow of the poem. It felt natural and almost like a level up from stream of consciousness. It was a conversation, and that aspect translated really well.
I don't really have any negative feedback. To me, poetry is generally subject to interpretation and really embodies the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I feel like suggestions (if I had any) would feel trivial cause they would honestly just be my opinion. But this poem was so fun and perfect, and I think it worked really, really nicely. It was funny, it was an exploration, it was a discovery... ten out of ten.
Overall: great work! This was one of my favorite poems to come out of NaPo 2021, I think, so thank you for bringing this great work to life! Until next time!
CAN YOU THREE PLEASE COLLAB MORE BECAUSE IF THIS IS NOT A MASTERPIECE I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS
also, "we are the child's stuffed animal accidentally caught up with the laundry" is legit a little sad :'(
(but the rest cracked me up-)
Also that small little 'help' at the end XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
this is beyond perfection ;__; <3 <3
this poem is poemagrate. get it? poem+great. poemagrate
>.>
<.<
no that was really bad xD
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