Young Writers Society

Wow, this is an incredibly, visceral poem about the gutting of a chicken, or really, the metaphorical gutting of a person. I like how you interspersed your stanzas with excuses, reasons why they did not mean to gut the narrator. So you have these lines about how the narrator is being brutally murdered, all the way trying to rationalize away the actions of the people who are hurting her. What a great metaphor. Like, wow wow. The line 'I'm sure a long and lengthy plan they drew' read as a bit stiff to me. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but it just doesn't feel right. Overall, this is an amazing poem and I am in love! keep up the great work!
-Alice

no mercy for the chicken

Hey there, whatchamacallit! My reviewing senses are more fine-tuned today, so I should write something a little better. As it stands, this is one of the better poems I've seen about the violent murder of a chicken (wow I did not think I would be saying that). I have to assume this is a rooster we're talking about, due to the fan comment? If that's true, his naivete and innocence are heart-wrenching (you know, like the rooster's heart getting pulled out (yes I only used the word for the sake of that pun, though the whole thing is tragic). ). For much of the poem, he seems convinced that his death is all but an accident. Maybe the axe wasn't supposed to hit him, but his neighbor. His excuses are poor - especially the slip of the hand one - but it denotes love for whomever was raising him. I would like to see that in more detail, especially as it can amplify a sense of betrayal in the poem. That love can also explain why he tries so hard to defend his murderers, or one of the most instrumental part of the piece. Yeah, beyond the innocence of the rooster, this just lacks a lot of emotion and some vital explanations, is what I'm saying, and you'd be better off including them to give us a complete emotional picture of the rooster.

It's strange to me that the killer would (presumably) chop his head off and then strangle him, assuming that the latter can be taken literally and the stanzas are arranged chronologically. Since I find no evidence to dispute either, it seems out of place. Unless whoever killed him really hates chickens. But yeah, jokes aside, I think my favorite part of the poem is towards the end, beginning about when his voice cracks and his stance on his death shifts from an accident to a sudden decision. The dead chicken has some sense of clarity, as he decides that the removal of his guts is going a bit too far, and so this had to be a conspiracy against him. However, just as quickly, he jumps right back to assuming they've gone mad or this is all some huge misunderstanding, thus demonstrating his love for his murderers. He cannot fathom that they would not reciprocate (and, if they've been feeding and raising him, the rooster can assume they have the utmost love for him), much less murder him, and so hides behind his own poor explanations. Perhaps forever, as he clearly has a spirit (what else could explain him watching his own death/being served?).

All in all, the tragedy and irony of this are vivid, and the amount of sympathy you build is fantastic. Admittedly, I could be misreading all of this, since this is a humor poem. Then again, most of the humor derives from its bleak irony, the rooster's ignorance, and a good dose of Schadenfreude, so it can be interpreted either way (both to great effect, might I add). On that note, this has been a wonderful poem to read from start to finish - great job!

Hi there whatchamacallit. I may as well delve in for another review tonight seeing as I have nothing better to do and as I review this, the poem written here still sits in the Green Room probably waiting for a Knight of the Green Room like me to kick it out (unless someone else does in the time that it takes for me to review, haha).

Let's begin, shall we? I must say first that this is rather...gruesome with the description of 'crimson intestines' in which I suggest bumping this up to a higher rating for the violence/gore aspect of the poem. Speaking of the gore/violence aspect of this poem, I'm a little confused by what this is attempting to be. I see that this is listed under both the Humor and Narrative labels and while I understand the latter...I didn't understand the Humor at first until I realized that the speaker is a CHICKEN. Or a winged farm animal. Or any animal that's located in a coop which I'm pretty sure is only winged domestic animals. I don't know why but that took awhile for me to get personally and while I see all the details now I accidentally thought this to be a person at first.

The humor aspect of the piece (an important one at that if we're going to be writing a humor poem because this is the tree trunk and the other elements will flourish if the humor flourishes) is interesting. There are a couple clues that kinda give away the main punchline of the piece which currently...doesn't actively exist. We take the subtle more sprinkled out route where the joke isn't completely obvious but also not too difficult for the reader to find out or to realize. What I do wish is that alongside the rest of the jokes such as the coop with red, the scrawny neck and serving in porcelain bowls (why do all bowls in poetry need to be porcelain anyway, why not another material) that there's a final sort of punchline to end us off.

While I didn't dislike the final thought made by the speaker that maybe the murder wasn't intended (this obviously was and I don't know why they believe that it may be a mistake). Furthermore, there's a bit of excess amount of parentheses used in this that can be cut down for the better and reworked to not be that way. While the final line contradicts and doesn't make a lot of sense I enjoyed the rest of the poem and while this works for what this is, fixing the parentheses, adding in a stronger ending and enhancing that focus on the speaker and their voice can make this even stronger.

I'm not saying to take out the content in the parentheses but perhaps rework how this is worked into the poem (perhaps italics instead) because those parts can be strong but a couple are weaker than others. The first and second are great but the last two become mehhhh, I'd prefer if they weren't there at all over them being there or there's the option of changing them up. Overall, nice job on the humor but this can use a couple reinforcements!

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

Hey there, whatchamacallit. Dracula is here to give a short review.

As a vegetarian, I appreciate the topic of this poem. My interpretation is that this is in the point of view of a chicken, who is describing what has happened to it and making judgements on the humans. There are lots of human influeneces in here, like the denial that they meant to do what they did. I think many people are denial of what happens to animals before they reach the plate. Also, I feel that the chicken may have felt loved by a family (possibly) and is trying to justify their betrayal.

I like the format of this. The bracketed remarks are a clever touch and the rhyme connects them to the previous lines even though they are separate. The only line that didn't make much sense to me was 'to pluck me from my beatiful fan'. It might be that I don't have a great knowledge of chooks, but what do you mean by 'fan'? Also, I'd like to suggest you have one final line after 'have they lost their senses'. Something that is clearly the end of the poem, a final thought that sums the chicken's feelings up and leaves an imprint on the mind of the readers.

Otherwise, I liked this. There's precise, impactful imagery and a story that's relevant to issues today. Thanks for sharing.