Published November 19, 2011
So honestly, this is the biggest piece of crap I've tried to write in a long time, and I think it's because I am so depressed. I never write well when I try to write from my own emotions. I end up with piece of junk poetry that doesn't even make sense, but really like this meaning and want to see how I can make it work, so would you guys help me out? Thanks 
I don’t really know you,
So we can’t be friends.
I don’t care to know you,
‘Cause you see, we just don’t blend.
I’m sorry we don’t get along,
You’re really great, I swear!
But you see, you’re just not me,
And you don’t seem to care.
You dress in clothes that I don’t like,
And say such words as I can’t repeat.
You whine and cry and bitch and moan,
And quite frankly, you’re just mean.
So I’m sorry that I don’t like you,
And that I make you want to scream.
If only I had the courage,
To just stop being me.
You look one way and talk one way,
is that really how you feel?
This can't be, this can't be me.
Someone tell me this isn't real....
Because what I can’t bring myself to say,
Now couldn’t be any clearer:
I just can’t stand myself, you see..
Because I’m talking to my mirror.
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This isn't a piece of crap! I actually really liked it. I like how you made it seem like you were talking to someone else, maybe a mean girl at school or work, and then turned it around and said you were actually describing what you saw in the mirror. I love trick endings like that.
I too noticed that you used the word "just" quite a bit in it. That's a really easy fix though, you could easily replace some of them, or completely take them out.
Don't be so hard on yourself! True, emotional poetry isn't always going to be your best work, but this one turned out lovely.
Wow, I really like it! I was impressed with the ending especially. It left me thinking about it all. I can really feel the struggle the poem is talking about, and the rhymes are fun. I do think it still needs some work though; it feels a bit rough around the edges. This part in particular -
"Just" in the first line feels unnecessary, especially since it appears again in the fourth line. Just seems to be used a bit too much in the poem in general, actually. Just my opinion though.
By the way,
As I said before I really liked this part, it honestly took me by pleasant surprise. You shouldn't call this "crap," it's really good in my opinion. I think you're better at writing from your emotions than you think.