As Jimmy look around at his apothecary, he seemed at a loss of words. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Chantal’s face seemed distant, and some how Jimmy got the feeling she was shocked by his willingness to help her with this. Although she was attractive, Jim disliked her for some irrational juvenile reason. Girl germs maybe, he wasn’t quite sure. But as she looked at him, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. He had the lizard skin of a 15 year old, and he wondered if she believed in his ability to deal with this.
“Right, so now, I need to check my manual for the right portions, but I guess we will try a bit of everything.” Jim didn’t have the heart to tell Chantal he didn’t have a clue as to what he was doing. But some reassuring voice inside of him seemed to convince his soul about his mastery over the portions. And maybe Chantal could tell he was clueless, she turned away, distracted, running her hands over the water.
But Jim had to give it a go. After all they have been through. All the battles. The hunger and thirst. The pressure of the world. After all that miserable adventure. Pleasant only when fondly remembered in nostalgic distilled spirits. This was the final step, and neither of them had any clue as to what to do. But as the water was rising around them, bringing with it the screams of those who have drowned it, Jim thought he wouldnt leave Chantel to be distant and reflect on their journey. He was the male here, he had to fix this, and he couldn’t die giving up.
“Look Chantal, I wont have you giving up on me like this. We have finally found the Evil core. We still have time. See how its still afloat? Think of all the fat people Chantal, think of all the time in their lives they waste battling this.” Jimmy’s cries for help seemed to go unheard. The room seem to take another shade of yellow, as the light faded outside. Much like their hopes. Butterpants was going to come out on top, again. And there seemed to be little they could do about it.
As Jimmy furiously poured his potions onto the evil core, it didn’t seem dim its glow. It didn’t seem to lose its yellow. And Jimmy could see it already, Butterpants making his millions as he spread the disease, calling it fashionable names like syndrome X. His evil laugh seemed to resound through the walls already, growing louder with every diet that failed and every scale that tipped the wrong way.
And finally Chantal spoke. “Maybe Butterpants was right, Jimmy. Maybe what he is doing just like insurance. Maybe in this world there is nothing wrong with making money on the insecurities of people.” Jimmy couldn’t believe it, and just before he began one of his long rants in a raging fit, he realised that the evil core might have been sending signals into Chantal’s mind. “We have to destroy this core, Chantal, it has made enough people obese already, we have to destroy it.” And as Jimmy turned around to look at Chantal, he saw her biting into her thumb, like she was biting into a chicken drumstick. “God Jimmy, I’m so hungry!” The evil core was taking over Chantal’s mind and the water around them was rising rapidly. Jimmy had to work fast. He wasn’t going to let Chantal get fat, no, not under his watch.
Jimmy couldn’t work it out, and he was running out of time. As he tired to wrestle with the core, he couldn’t seem to keep it under the water. It seemed to always come up, and Jimmy felt like a five year old trying to drown a rubber duck. He had used just about everything there was to use and nothing seemed to work. Watching Chantal gnawing into her hand, images of her being a 100 kilos flashed through Jimmy’s mind. He couldn’t let it happen, but then, he couldn’t let her drown either. Some how he wished he could just hold her and kiss her right then, and tell her how much he had loved her all his life. He could see them kissing already, but as the facts of reality seeped into his mental imagery, he realised that being that hungry, Chantal would probably bite his tongue off as they kissed.
As Jimmy leaned back, his spirit been driven out of him with the rhythm of his fate’s footsteps, he thought it best he run his fingers over his eyes, dance, and enjoy the moment before everything was lost. Maybe he too should eat till his stomach walls screamed like a child being punished for things he hadn’t done. Hunger as a smelly Arab man trying to make money by selling pointless ethnic crap to unsuspecting tourists. But like you know all abouthis plans with you see his forceful ways and rude eye contact, Jimmy knew when the hunger was coming on. He could see the shadows in the dark, and today it wasn’t coming. Not coming to consume him.
His eyes lit up. He wasn’t hungry. But as his mind scampered around corners and fell to break its frount teeth, he had a plan. He was going to beat Butterpants at his own game. He was going to be hungry and he knew who to call for help. Jimmy began to scream for help.
“Oh baby jimmy, goo goo, goooo goooo..is baby jimmy hungry..yes he is…he cant wait to get to his mommy’s boobs now can he..no he cant…”
When your 18 months old, everybody feels obligated to patronize you. “ OH but where are my manners, Chantal, this is my Aunty Edna. She is a virgo, loves Italian food, is 200 pounds, and is currently completely drunk and smelling of cheap wine”
“oh yes..are you having fun with baby Chantal?..yes you..are you having sex?..you dirty baby..are u two having sex?..baby Chantal and baby jimmy”
With all the shampoo and conditioner around, Jimmy could see why Aunty edna’s mind would turn to sex. Jimmy could see that Chantal didn’t really enjoy being put in the bath everytime the adults had these dinner parties. But as Chantal gazed hungrily at Aunty Edna’s boobs, Jimmy knew something had to be done about the evil core quickly.
“what is this..rubber ducky..yeah it’s a rubber ducky…are u using the rubber ducky sex toy…yes you are..Aunty Edna has many sex toys too…yes!..but no one to use it with..”
Things were turning pretty ugly, but as Aunty Edna squeezed the evil core, both Chantal’s and Jimmy’s mouth fell open, watching her growing larger by the second. Jimmy heard a pop, and a button from the back of Aunty edna’s dress snapped off to hit the mirror. Not that she had noticed it happen.
As the now larger Aunty Edna waddled away apoligizing, Jimmy and Chantal smiled calmly at each other. The work was done, but they knew it would be the last they saw of Fatty Butterpants.
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