It's very strange how I feel nothing for you anymore
how I can touch you, taste you
but not love you like before
Even though I keep pushing you away, you keep pushing back
you want something from me and that something is something that I lack
I don't know what to do
because when I see you with someone else I want you
no, I need you
our relationship can be summed up into one word:
convenience.
it's easy to leave you when I know you would come back fast
But I feel bad
because I don't feel your touch, or taste your taste
all I sense is emptiness
all I know now is convenience.
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Canary word: Present
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you want something from me and that something is something that I lack
]. It was a straightforward poem and easy to relate to. Some parts I didn't really like, but overall it was pretty good.
You do use 'something' a lot in here, but I think you should just add after 'me.' I liked the repetition of 'something' but the sentence was a little awkward.
I don't know what to do
because when I see you with someone else I want you
Rhythm is a little off here and I didn't particularly like the wording of this part.
our relationship can be summed up into one word:
convenience.
This seemed a little blunt. Try making it flow better with the rest of the poem.
it's easy to leave you when I know you would come back fast
But I feel bad
This part, too, needs to flow better with the poem.
all I know now is convenience.
Maybe you could take out 'now' to keep with the other line and to take out unnecessary words. But this is a very nice last line.
This was better than I expected it to be [don't worry- that's a compliment
Only one problem;
You use 'something' too much. Find a new word to use.
Other than that i really liked your poem. Your poem showed real confusion in a relationship , which many can relate to. So i thought your poem was great.