She grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed me against my bedroom wall.
"You're so pathetic you know that?" She yelled at me, "So petty!" Bringing me from the wall she slammed me against it again, "I was trying to help you!" I was slammed again. "Everyday I would see you sitting alone, everyday I would see you get bullied and teased because you are different from us! I started talking to you because I didn't want you to get picked on anymore! I didn't want you to be alone!" She slammed me against the wall with every breath she took. I lifted my hands from my sides and grabbed onto her wrists, pushing her away as her head fell to her chest, she began to shake. Was she crying? Why is this hurting her more than it was hurting me? Does she expect me to feel remorse? Does she expect me to fight back?
"I didn't ask you to save me." She looked up at me, as if I had stabbed her in the heart. "I didn't ask you to talk to me. Don't try to blame this on me." I pushed her away from me, "Have you ever thought that maybe I didn't need your help, huh? I didn't need it. I was comfortable with who I was. I was OK like that. I had gotten used to being alone. I was fine with it, I am fine with it." She furrowed her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes at me, "I'm used to the screaming of my parents, I'm used to the divorce threats, it's so familiar to me that the thought of not hearing them yell at one another causes panic in me. I'm used to hiding under the blankets, it's what I do." I took in a deep breath, "I'm alone because I knew this would happen," I gestured to her, "My life isn't ordinary, I can't expect you to understand that, I can't expect anyone to, that's why I've been alone for so long." I wiped her tears away, "I choose to sit alone in the library during lunch, I choose to skip school outings, it's my choice."
She straightened up and looked at me. Then she slapped me.
"Then you really are heartless." She spat. "How could you just pretend like this is all normal? It's not! Can't you see that others care for you!? Can't you see that we are willing to put our lives on hold because we want to help you!? Or are you just too dumb to understand that, huh?" She pushed me to the wall again, "If that's what you want, then we'll leave you alone. We won't bother you. We'll let you sit alone in the library during lunch, and we won't worry about you when we're on school outings." She grabbed her bag from my bed. "I'll see you at school, where I'll just pretend like you never existed."
I looked at her as she walked out of my room and slammed the door behind her, I tilted my head and bit my lip. "Heartless, huh?" I crossed my arms, "I'd have had to have had a heart in the first place to be heartless."
...It's been a long day.
Ps. Thank you to the reviews given and tips offered.