Four Realms

by walker

Published July 13, 2014

16+ Language Violence

In Four Realms

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

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Prologue

“Sir we’ve discovered a new realm that threatens our existence,” Hendrickson said, Hendrickson was three hundred and sixty four years old, he stood around five feet tall and four inches, he had grey skin, large muscular biceps, with bulky triceps, he had rock solid abdominal muscles, battle scars covered most of his chest, he also had white eyes, his left eye had a horizontal scar on the top eye lid, his black hair covered his forehead and some of his back, he had bright silver lips, along with nails around three inches long, they were sharp enough to pierce through inches of steel, and he wore a black robe, that could deflect most attacks, his gauntlets covered his knuckles, but left his nails out and ready to kill, his boots covered most of his legs in thick steel.

“What could possibly pose a threat to us,” King Jamison asked? Jamison stood around five feet tall, he had purple skin, very fragile bones, his stomach was covered with scars from swords and arrows, he had hardly any muscle aside from his arm, his left arm was missing from the elbow down, his eyes were completely black including the outside, his grey hair went down to his left eye, and he wore a red shirt, and blue pants.

“A few hours ago we felt a large shockwave in the northeastern islands,” Hendrickson said, “Millions of people died.”

“How do you know it’s this new realm,” Jamison asked?

“We traced it back,” Hendrickson said, “I believe we should send troops there to capture this newly discovered power.”

“Only one out of ten thousand lives when they cross into a realm with no spiritual beings,” Jamison said.

“Then should we just sit here and hope they don’t destroy us,” Hendrickson asked?

“We will send a hundred million eggs to this realm,” Jamison said, “Around ten thousand will hatch and at the age of fifteen they will begin looking for this power.”

“Why so many,” Hendrickson asked?

“We must assume the natives of this realm will be guarding this new power,” Jamison said.

Chapter 1 the Decision

Location: Sacramento, California

Date: October sixth, 2015

Time: 10:08

“Hey Matt I was wondering if you wanted to come over my house to study tonight,” Rebecca asked. Rebecca was fourteen years old, she stood five feet tall and six inches, she had tan skin, blue eyes with black eyeliner, brown hair, she wore red lip stick, and she had nearly a flat stomach, along a large chest, and she wore a black skirt that went down to her fingertips.

“Well I mean I can’t tonight because I’ve been having family problems,” Matt said, Matt was fifteen years old, he stood around five feet tall and nine inches, he had tan skin, silver eyes, his arms were completely muscle, along with his stomach, and legs even though he hardly ever worked out, he wore a black muscle shirt, with black mesh shorts, and he had a bad temper, when he would see another guy flirting with Rebecca he would often lash out and begin beating them up.

“Oh,” Rebecca said, with a saddened voice. Every time she would ask Matt to come over he would make up an excuse, although he had often told Rebecca he liked her he never spent time with her aside from school.

“I’m sorry Rebecca it’s just if you found out what I was you’d be horrified,” Matt thought to himself.

“Can’t you just tell me why you never want to be around me,” Rebecca asked?

“It’s not that I don’t want to be around you,” Matt yelled! “The problem is I can’t be around you.”

“And why is that,” Rebecca asked?

“Because I’m not like you,” Matt whispered.

“You’re always acting as if you like me but when I do something to try to bring us together you make up an excuse to why you can’t,” Rebecca said, as tears ran down her face.

“Who said I didn’t want to spend time with you,” Matt asked?

“They’re at it again,” Jordan said, Jordan was fourteen years old, he stood around five feet tall and five inches, he had a light tan, he had brown hair with blonde highlights, his left eye was brown and his left was blue, he had a large amount of muscle on his arms and legs, his abdominals had some but not much, he wore a muscle shirt, and black track pants.

“You can’t really blame Rebecca though,” Sierra said, Sierra was fourteen years old, she stood around five feet and three inches tall, she had dark red hair, green eyes, she had a near flat stomach, with a small amount of muscle in her arms, and she wore a white long sleeved shirt, with tight skinny jeans.

The school they were at was called west Brooke high, the entrance was quite nice, it had short green grass, a newly put up sign of the team logo, the school was made mostly of brick, it was a two story school, that was built four years ago.

Although the inside of the school was not nearly as nice, it had brown rusty locker, most of the doors were made of wood, and the wood was chipped or cracked, the wall was plain yellow, and the teachers were all rude.

“Look I’m sorry it’s just I don’t have enough time to be able to spend time with you,” Matt said.

“Good because I don’t want to be around you anymore anyways,” Rebecca said.

“I just lost one of the only people I care about in this world,” Matt thought to himself, as he fell to the ground on his knees clinching his fist.

“Go calm her down,” Jordan told Sierra, as he rushed towards Matt.

“I don’t think she wants to be around me anymore,” Matt said, with a chuckle.

“Come on I’ll take you back to my place,” Jordan said, as he helped Matt up.

“Thanks,” Matt said, as he rose to his feet and followed Jordan.

“I can’t stand him,” Rebecca said.

“Yeah but neither you nor I know his backstory,” Sierra said.

“How do you know he even has one,” Rebecca asked?

“Because he told Jordan a few months ago,” Sierra said.

“Did Jordan tell you what it was,” Rebecca asked?

“He told me if I knew then I wouldn’t think of him the same anymore,” Sierra said.

“I wouldn’t care if he was a murderer,” Rebecca said, “I just want to be with him.”

“Why are you so obsessed with only him,” Sierra asked?

“Well a few years ago when I was walking home a group of men tried to grab me,” Rebecca said, “Within seconds Matt was over there beating the men he didn’t stop until police arrived an restrained him.”

“Oh so that’s why,” Sierra said.

“No not just that,” Rebecca said, “He always treats me so well.”

“You remember how I told you about my mission,” Matt asked?

“Yeah,” Jordan replied, as he opened the door to his car.

“Well after I locate the power we’re going to initiate a complete takeover of this world,” Matt said, “To be honest I really don’t want to follow these orders.”

“So where are you going now,” Jordan asked?

“I don’t know,” Matt said, “Just tell Rebecca I’m leaving on a trip to Europe.”

“Yeah although I don’t think you can take on an entire world without help” Jordan said.

“Don’t worry about me,” Matt said.

“So this is his decision,” Chris whispered, “It’s a shame he has to die.” Chris was fifteen years old, he stood around six feet tall, he had pale skin, large muscular arms and abdominals, his legs had some muscle but not nearly as much as his arms, he had seven inch long nails that could cut through a brick wall, green eyes, black hair that went down this forehead, he wore no shirt and mesh shorts.

Jordan went to back up the car, when Matt opened the door and got out. “I’ve decided to fight for my homeland,” Matt said, as he changed into his battle form.

Matt’s nails grew to about six inches long, along with a tail that came out about two feet out from the bottom of his back, his teeth grew to about six inches long, they now hung out of his mouth when he closed it, his eyes turned red, and fire began surrounding his fists.

“Matt’s fighting,” Leroy asked? Leroy stood around two feet tall, blue skin, his age was unknown, he had short three inch horns, orange eyes, four inch long nails, sharp three inch teeth, wings that measured a foot wide, and a tail around six inches long.

“So you’ve decided to fight for your home after all,” Chris said, as he stood a foot away from Matt. The two exchanged glances not backing up an inch, waiting for the other to make a move.

“Yeah the land I was born into is my home,” Matt said, “I won’t allow you to destroy it with your quest for power.”

“He’s never done this before,” Jordan thought to himself.

“Look outside,” a teacher said.

“Who is that,” Sierra asked?

“Look Jordan’s out there,” Rebecca said.

“Must we do this here,” Matt asked?

“Yes it’s a perfect place for our battle,” Chris said, as launched himself at Matt, hitting him in the stomach, and sending him flying into the school walls.

“He can throw a punch,” Matt thought to himself, as he rose to his feet, and rushed towards Chris, only for a sword to pierce through his left shoulder, causing him to scream in agony.

“Did you think you could defy the great realm of the demons,” Chris asked?

“It must not be to great considering this realm poses such a threat to them,” Matt said, as he launched himself back to his feet. He then grabbed Chris by his shirt and hit him in the face, sending him stumbling back.

Chris suddenly made a sword appear, he then went to stab Matt, only for Matt to hit Chris with flaming fist to the face. Shortly after, Chris pierced Matt’s stomach with his sword, sending Matt crashing to the ground.

“Someone call the police,” a student said, as he rushed over to stop Chris from stabbing Matt.

“He’ll kill him if I don’t do something,” Jordan thought to himself, as he rushed out of the car to help Matt, only to be stopped by a white laser going through his leg.

“Who do you think you are trying to engage an enemy who is fighting someone else,” Austin said, as walked towards Jordan. Austin was fifteen years old, he stood around six feet tall, he had purple skin, gold eyes, his arms were about fifty percent muscle the rest being fat, his legs were all muscle, along with his abdominal muscles, his nails measured five inches long, and he wore a blue shirt, and jeans.

“You think I could sit by and watch the closest person to family I got die by some freak,” Jordan asked?

“I don’t know,” Austin said, as a beam came out from his finger and into Jordan’s chest, causing blood to rush out of his wound.

Matt rose to his feet, with small fireballs circling around him. Chris launched himself at Matt, only for a ball of fire to hit him, bursting into flames covering his skin in blisters and burns within seconds.

“You’ve finally awoken your power,” Chris said, with a delighted voice. “Now I can go all out.” Suddenly Chris’s left disappeared and was replaced with a nine millimeter pistol; his right hand was replaced with a long black sword. The blade measured around two feet and seven inches long.

“You’re insane turning yourself into a weapon,” Matt said.

“You think I care about what I become,” Chris asked? “Because I could care less about what I become when I’m the one destined to rule this world.”

“Look at Jordan,” Rebecca said, as blood rushed out of Jordan’s chest.

“Oh my god,” Sierra said, as she sprinted towards Jordan.

Austin caught glimpse of Sierra as she ran to help the pinned down boy. “Die you stupid bitch,” Austin said, as he lined his finger up with Sierra’s chest.

“You won’t get the chance to kill this woman,” Leroy whispered, as he put his hand on Austin’s chest.

“What the hell are you doing,” Austin asked? Shortly after he was sent flying back with a hole in his shirt.

“Get out of here,” Leroy said, as he was smashed into the ground by a large rock.

“Quit pretending like you have the situation under control,” Brian said, Brian’s age was unknown, he had silver skin, red eyes, he stood around two and a half feet tall, he had silver hair, three inch horns that stuck out of his head, three inch claws, a foot long tail.

“Who do you serve,” Leroy asked?

“I serve Chris,” Brian replied, “Although Chris and Austin has allied with each other in order to become the god’s of this realm.”

“May I ask where Austin’s imp is,” Leroy asked?

“I don’t really know,” Brian said.

“Jordan get up,” Sierra whispered, as tears ran down her face, along with her makeup.

“Now it’s time for the real action,” Chris said, as he shot his gun towards Matt in the chest, only for the bullet to incinerate before the bullet hit.

Matt sent the three remaining fireballs at Chris; they were all sliced up by Chris’s sword. Matt then hit Chris in the ribs, causing a large area of his ribs to catch on fire.

Chris’s nails began to shrink, along with his teeth, and tail, he now looked human. Although he wasn’t able to withstand the pain and damage he had taken in his battle form, so he collapsed to the ground.

“It would seem as if I won,” Matt said, as his nails shrunk, his teeth shrunk, his tail was removed, his eyes and skin turned back to their original color, and his horn disappeared.

Although his body was now covered in blood, Rebecca knew Matt was the one who had just been in that battle.

“I’m not done,” Chris said, as he rose to his feet with blood running down his face. Chris walked towards Matt, when he was close enough he picked him up by his shirt, and punched him in the face causing Matt’s head to wobble and tilt back.

“Stop this please,” Rebecca whispered, as Chris threw Matt onto the ground and kicked him in the ribs.

Matt rose to his feet, breathing heavily; as blood rushed out of his stomach and ran down his legs. Chris quickly tackled Matt, causing them both to crash into the ground. Chris was now on top of Matt, elbowing him in the head; within a few seconds Chris’s elbow was covered in Matt’s blood. Matt struggled to get Chris off of him, only for Chris’s teeth to dig into Matt’s forearm. Chris pulled up quickly and roughly, taking a piece of Matt’s forearm with him.

“Man you’ve put up quite a fight,” Chris said, as he spit out the piece Matt’s arm. “Too bad I have just enough power to put you down.”

“Great I’ve reached my limit,” Matt thought to himself, as he tried to change into his battle form.

“You’re out of energy,” Chris said, with a grin on his face.

“No I’m out already,” Matt said, as Chris dug his claws into Matt’s chest, pulling his chest apart, causing blood to spurt out of his chest.

“You’re just an average demon after all,” Chris whispered, as he walked away.

“Hey where do you think you’re going,” Matt asked?

“If you try to stand you’ll most likely die in the process,” Chris said, “I have no interest fighting someone who would die if they were to stand.”

“Then I’ll kill you with your back turned to me,” Matt said, as he rose to his feet with a flaming orb in his hand.

“So I’ll deliver the first kill in this death match,” Chris said, as he shot his pistol, hitting Matt in the elbow; as Matt was shot, he released the orb in his hand. The orb hit Chris, causing a large explosion and shockwave that broke most of the windows. It also sent people stumbling back; the explosion left a large smoke cloud around the school.

“Dammit I’m drained of energy,” Matt said, as blood rushed out a large tear in his arm.

When the smoke cleared, Chris was standing up with his chest and arms covered in burns.

“No you should be dead,” Matt whispered, his eyes filled with horror.

“Don’t worry,” Chris said, as he fell to the ground. “You’ve won.”

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Amoniel
Review
Amoniel wrote a review Review · Jul 13, 2014

Hello there, I'm Almond and I'm going to be writing a review up for you. :3

First off, I really like this concept, and I'm really looking forward to reading another chapter. :) You seem to have thought this out well, and it has a good structure from what I've seen so far.

However, there were a few things that bothered me about this piece - a lot of it is just a matter of taste; you have a rather unique writing style, so feel free to disregard anything that you have intentionally put into place that I've pointed out. c:

Hendrickson said, Hendrickson was three hundred and sixty four years old, he stood around five feet tall and four inches, he had grey skin, large muscular biceps, with bulky triceps, he had rock solid abdominal muscles, battle scars covered most of his chest, he also had white eyes, his left eye had a horizontal scar on the top eye lid, his black hair covered his forehead and some of his back, he had bright silver lips, along with nails around three inches long, they were sharp enough to pierce through inches of steel, and he wore a black robe, that could deflect most attacks, his gauntlets covered his knuckles, but left his nails out and ready to kill, his boots covered most of his legs in thick steel.

That is the longest sentence I have ever read. Could you not think of a way to divide this up a bit? This was just like a huge list of attributes that was really draining to read. Lists can be great in stories if they are used right, but in this manner I think it is a bit of a waste.

Like Geo pointed out, your descriptions are good, they are just a bit excessive. You are descriptive to a point that I can't imagine the character you are describing due to the fact that everything listed so tightly together makes me forget what has been said as you continue the description.

Also, the way you describe all the characters with this same method and layout, pointing out a lot of the same attributes which can feel really generic and boring at points; like you are just filling out a form that you decided to slap into a sentence. A method that I find useful for descriptions is when you point out one attribute of the character at a time, perhaps when you talk about them or after they've spoken - which lets the reader develop a image of them a little bit at a time, and both spreads the description out a bit and makes the description feel a bit less forced.

“How do you know it’s this new realm,” Jamison asked?

This is just part of your writing style, but typically people put the question marks in the piece of dialogue... The method that you are using confused me at parts, since I wasn't sure if the character was making a statement or asking a question. Besides, it makes it feel like you are asking if you should ask the question; which makes it seem uncertain of your story's direction. This could just be me though. ^^

“I just lost one of the only people I care about in this world,” Matt thought to himself, as he fell to the ground on his knees clinching his fist.

I thought he was speaking at first - could you try and find a different way of expressing thoughts, rather than putting them in the same format as your dialogue?

“I don’t think she wants to be around me anymore,” Matt said, with a chuckle.

With chuckle? After he states that she is one of the only people he cares about in that world? If Matt was trying to put on a tough act, maybe you could change it a little so that it becomes something like 'a forced chuckle' or something else that sounds less like he's being a jerk. (xD)

As Geo was, I was a bit confused as to where Chris popped up from; but also as to where Jordan and Sierra came from, as well as Austin and Brian... Perhaps you could speak about the character's presence, maybe where they are standing or them walking in before they say something - it would clear up a bit of the confusion. :3

“Someone call the police,” a student said, as he rushed over to stop Chris from stabbing Matt.

Supposedly only Jordan knows about Matt's special nature. But nobody seems fazed that Matt and Chis just transformed into what I take are demons? How does that make sense? I would be running for my life, not trying to save a demon from being attacked by a demon. O.o

All in all however, I thought this was a great story, and I am looking forward to future chapters. c:

-Almond

walker replied · Jul 14, 2014

Thanks for reading, after reading how about how no one was running or panicking I decided to twist things up a bit.

Random avatar
GeoCha
Review
GeoCha wrote a review Review · Jul 13, 2014

Hey there, Geo for a review. This story is interesting and I liked the action to an extent. I was confused at times however. I would say you also over describe the characters for me, but the descriptions weren't that bad, just excessive and really precise at times, sometimes I want to imagine the rest of the character. I was confused when Chris was introduced, he kind of came out of no where too.

“Yeah although I don’t think you can take on an entire world without help” Jordan said.

“Don’t worry about me,” Matt said.

“So this is his decision,” Chris whispered, “It’s a shame he has to die.” Chris was fifteen years old, he stood around six feet tall, he had pale skin, large muscular arms and abdominals, his legs had some muscle but not nearly as much as his arms, he had seven inch long nails that could cut through a brick wall, green eyes, black hair that went down this forehead, he wore no shirt and mesh shorts.

Chris introduction made me get confused in that he didn't have a proper introduction, especially since he is the first villain in your story. I liked the action though, and I think this story has great potential. I do feel like you rushed it a bit, only because some of the action was weird to read. I loved how you started the story though, next time don't rush though, let everything come naturally. I like your characters' dialogue among each other and I'm interested in how Rebecca and Matt will grow, and if Jordan died!!!!!! I'm looking forward to the next chapter definitely.

My favorite parts:
“Dammit I’m drained of energy,” Matt said, as blood rushed out a large tear in his arm.

When the smoke cleared, Chris was standing up with his chest and arms covered in burns.

“No you should be dead,” Matt whispered, his eyes filled with horror.

“Don’t worry,” Chris said, as he fell to the ground. “You’ve won.”

That last line was bad ass! Oh, and i saw a curse word, next time you should put a warning, can be done before you post the story!

walker replied · Jul 13, 2014

Ok thanks.

walker replied · Jul 14, 2014

Thanks for reading it, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I will try to cut down on the massive character descriptions.



NO U
— Carina