Drs. Jordan and Fisher were two of the world's greatest astrophysicists -
somewhere in their busy lives, they'd found time to raise, and
homeschool their four rambunctious children: Cara, Elaine, Meriadoc, and Robin. Wherever in the world (or
the galaxy) they went, their kids followed.
Unlike most children
between the ages of four and nine, the Jordan-Fishers were quite capable
of amusing themselves for extended periods of time. That was what Dr.
Fisher had assured Elizabeth Weir, anyway.
Besides, with the city of Atlantis hidden under a cloak, the risk of a Wraith attack was at an all-time low. Drs. Jordan and Fisher were needed in Atlantis. [Insert compelling reason here.] According to Samantha Carter over at SGC, they were by far the most qualified scientists to investigate these new developments. Either they brought their children with them, or they didn't come at all.
Against her better judgement, Weir allowed them to come. All of them.
****
"I wanted to homeschool as a kid," Rodney McKay remarked to the Jorden-Fishers as the team assembled around the table in the Atlantean conference room.
Arms crossed, Colonel Sheppard snorted in disbelief. "Did you, really?"
Rodney nodded emphatically. "There were too many stupid, ordinary children, always slowing down my academic progress with their infantile jokes and foolish questions. Alas, my parents couldn't bring themselves to understand." He gestured to his tablet computer for emphasis. "Why, if they'd allowed me to study at home, alone, I'm certain I could've written these vital algorithms while I was still in high school!" (Plus, he wouldn't have needed Dr. Zelenka's help in doing so, either.)
Karen Fisher just smiled politely from her seat. Years of child-rearing had taught her three invaluable skills: patience, tolerance, and the uncanny ability to numbly respond with canned sayings like, "Yes dear," to anything that was on her children's minds.
The doors opened with a whoosh of air as Elizabeth Weir strode in, evoking a cacophony of childish laughter from beneath the table. Apparently, to the children, the noise was similar to that of a toilet being flushed. When they'd arrived, McKay, Sheppard, Radek Zalenka, Teyla Emmagen, and Ronon Dex had each been greeted by similar fanfare.
"Dr. Fisher, Dr. Jordan, I hope you understand that everything we're discussing in this conference is to remain confidential..." Weir glanced at the whispering foursome assembled under the table, building a house of cards.
Richard Jordan ducked under the table and gently told the children to go outside and play. Eagerly, four curly-haired little people crawled out and made their way to the doors, snickering all the way as the they opened once more.
The Atlantis team heaved a collective sigh as the childish laughter faded away into the regular hustle-bustle of base activities.
"I'm beginning to wonder if we should have left the children with their grandparents after all," Dr. Jordan remarked sheepishly.
"We've never been separated from them before," his wife added softly. "I'll admit, we're kind of protective."
"Kind of?" Rodney repeated tactlessly, compelling Teyla to elbow him in the side.
Dr. Weir cleared her throat, steering everyone's attention to more important matters.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Hey there yizhongt here to leave a review, I am not too familiar with the SG Atlantis storyline so please forgive me in advance if I happen to make any errors or missteps in judgement. Let me just say that I loved this story a lot. I felt that it flowed nicely and smoothly. I also loved the point you made about parenting and the choices parents have to sometimes make between either their careers or their children.
I like the words you used the describe the character's actions and attitudes. It made them come alive.
Now you left one part of the story which wrote (insert compelling reason), now I think a good compelling reason for the two parents to be on Atlantis is to assist the team on Atlantis on some scientific conundrum that has to do with their area of expertise, astrophysics.
All in all, I think this is a great piece you have here. Cannot wait for the next installment of it. Keep writing !
Dear friend,
Awesome story line. I like those stories which do not conclude something emphatically. The soft way of delivering the importance of parental guidance is so perfectly portrayed in this story, It clarifies the fact in a sober version that in the race of career advancement one must not neglect their children.
Good thought;expressed so beautifully!
Now coming to "some" suggestions-
1) You asked a reason for the Jordan and Fishers to visit Atlantis.
Well, I don't know if this is very good but you can use it temporarily:they went there to examine the ruins on which certain alien evidences are found.(like they are astrologers and all, and aliens always make stuff interesting!)
2)I think you need to work on grammar here and there. Like there are several "the's" at inappropriate places. Just read your story once more. Like, go through it!
3) Try to express the idea of parenting more emphatic by adding some short incidents and all, it would make your story more catchy!
That's it from my side!
Hope you keep enlightening such minor issues which are of major importance!
Loves and regards..