"LORRIANE, GET UP. YOU GOING TO BE LATE DAMNIT. LETS GO!" Oh boy, just the words i wanna hear when i wake up in the mourning. I fumble outta bed and make
my way to the bathroom. I do the same shit i would of any other day. You know, take a shower, bush my teeth, do my hair. One thing i always tried not to
do is look into the mirror. They say you can see the gateway to someones soul through their eyes. But when I look back into mine, I see the memories.
The memories I've been trying to put any into the back of my mind. Hidden, keep anyways and to be locked up forever.
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Hey everyone. i'm still trying to figure out how to work this site lol.
Lemme know what u think about the beginning, thanks!
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Welcome to the site, isn't it awesome? Hope your finding your way around the place, okay. Anyways the piece wasn't horrid or particularly spectacular, but it was okay and I seriously wished it was longer, I saw real potential in this and when I reached the end I was like where's the rest of it?! Anyways like I said it as okay, thank you for the read.
Yep!! Quite a bit better! There are still a few things that could be edited, but hey! There is never any possible way to make them perfect... I know for a face mine will never be. Nice work!
"LORRIANE, GET UP. YOU GOING TO BE LATE DAMNIT. LETS GO!" Oh boy, just the words I want to hear when i wake up in the mourning. I glance over at the clock, its 6am. What the hell is this lady screaming for? Anywho, I fumble out of bed and head over to the bathroom to take a shower. I took off my clothes while thinking about what is needed to be done today. Everything was fine, until i looked straight ahead.. the One thing i always tried not to do. Look into the mirror. People say you can see the gateway to someones soul through their eyes. But when I look back into mine, my reflection is the memories. The memories I've been trying to put any into the back of my mind. Hidden, keep anyways and to be locked up forever.
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better?
Well, it's not bad. Not absoluetely grasping either though... Also, since this is a WRITING site, please captitalize your I's and keep your grammar/spelling and such tidy. Also, avoid using chatspeak as it ticks a lot of people off since this is a litterary site.
Anywho... try to work on imagery a little as well.
You're off to a fair start, just do a little editing and things will turn out well.
Yea sure you can add me as a friend
lol and haha , don't be jealous of me being a New Yorker. lol
Oh that book is amazing. Damn I hate you guy's in NY! lol just kiddin'.
I'd add you as a friend (If you wanted) but I'm not sure how to do so haha
and perks of being a wallflower? i didnt read it but i think some other classes have or will. lol
lol Still I think that's awesome that y'all are reading that. Yeah it gets (In my opinion) pretty damn good. I love Holden.
Ah and i'm from New York, Long Island to be exact. and NY surpisingly even though i hate it has one of the best educational systems. And not gunna lie, my teacher makes it so boring lol but i read ahead and its starting to get more interasting
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Are you serious!!! That's some total BS! Lol my school is a bunch of Nazi! I asked if we were going to read Cather and they said that the Texas School Board had banded that book!
But that crazy cool your school is letting y'all read that. To be honest though, Cather is to most people an extremely boring book. For example I've let well over six of my friends borrow it to read, and all but one gave it back to me and said they couldn't finish it. I don't know what it is about the book, but most people just find it straight up boring 
. Where are you going to school if you don't mind me asking? Cause I'm going to move there when I have a kid so he/she can have a GOOD education lol.
Cather in the Rye? i'm actually reading that in my english class right now lol and thanks haha. its weird. i used to read alot when i was younger and since theres nothing better to do at school, i read lol
good grief! that's fast reading! Geez you should enter some kind of reading race or something haha. That's pretty cool though. I doubt your library would have these books, but if you ever see them around pick them up.
Perks of being a wallflower.
Catcher in the rye.
Fightclub.
Rant.
Siddhartha.
those are my favorites. I'm a helluva slow reader though... Like I'm talking 3 months per book. It's just that I don't really ever have the time to sit down and read. I just read two periods a day at school.
Hahah and well i'm new at my school so being the little nerd i am sometimes, instead of study hall i go to the library and read. I read so fast, i dont know why. i always finsh a book in one period and i've bene going for the past two weeks now and its every other day. so like hmm 10 books by now? I just finshed one today called " Saving Zoe "by Alyson Noel. Very good book, i felt alot of the emotion. Yea i know, i'm a sap. dont be jealous lol
Woots go noobs!
and yeah what book's have you been reading?
Hey and thanks. Yea i've been reading so many books lately so i wanted to write one of my own. I guess i had to find a way to grab peoples attention but i guess i didn't do it the right way. Thanks again, fellow newbie! lol
Hey I'm new too. You'll catch on pretty quickly it's a very user friendly site. just explore. And the beginning of this story kind of seemed rushed.
LORRIANE, GET UP. YOU GOING TO BE LATE DAMNIT. LETS GO!" Oh boy, just the words i wanna hear when i wake up in the mourning. I fumble outta bed and makemy way to the bathroom. I do the same shit i would of any other day. You know, take a shower, bush my teeth, do my hair. One thing i always tried not to
It feels like you just threw this in there. This really didn't make me feel anything. And then you grabbed my attention with this
They say you can see the gateway to someones soul through their eyes. But when I look back into mine, I see the memories.
The memories I've been trying to put any into the back of my mind. Hidden, keep anyways and to be locked up forever.
I think it would be cool to start this story with that. It would make me really want to know what kind of memories you have and the stories you are going to share.
But overall I think this has potential