Published December 19, 2011
I wrote this 2 years ago. I do see I need to work on punctuation :/ lol
A lost stone
moreso, thrown away
given a look, a second glance perhaps
before you walk away
because what you thought to be a sparkle
is merely a speck of dust
and what you thought would skip five miles and more
did not live up to your expect
and if I could muster up a shimmer or a song
I would
for you would be amazed by me
and want me, love me, keep me long
but I am not a shimmering rock
who sings and skips or pleases you
I am just a thrown away one
you do not need
just walk on by
and I sit amongst these shining pearls
and I'm lost...
who placed me here?
where are all the other pebbles whose gray sides have no glitter?
why am I the only one? who's left alone in this sad place(state?)
why can't I please a single one? who passes through this sad sad place
while you sleep and dream of your happy days
know, perhaps, that I instead lay
and cry
and wear and tear
and break down...
I weep
for I don't know what is wrong with me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I enjoyed reading your poem, I would consider looking at your punctuation and fixing it.
this line made little sense to me, I would consider taking the word one out and maybe the a or changing thrown to throw then maybe it would make more sense.
Nice job other than those little things.
Keep them coming.
Hello there! Uhh, yeah you really should work on the punctuation
But overall, i honestly like your poem very much. When you wrote;
Cool! i totally love this part
Anyway, keep writing
-Snoweary