Hi. My name is Earth, I have to tell you something.
I’ve never had kids like them.
They ask the most of me, and I agree,
but they still shut me out of their lives.
They’re more accomplished than any of the others,
but they still bully their smallest siblings.
I’ve never had kids like them.
Their door is closed whenever I try to reach them.
I call to them, but they ignore me.
The more desperate I become,
my tears flooding,
screams blowing into storm winds,
the farther they retreat,
and the stronger locks they make.
I’ve never had kids like them.
They shun me because they feel that they’re better than me.
If they’re so clever, they should realize that everything they’re proud of,
From quirky fingers to large heads,
Was molded by my hands
I’ve never had kids like them.
They understand that everything I give them turns to destruction in their hands,
but unyieldingly,
they watch me bleed from their slashes,
waiting for the fate they have written for themselves to arrive.
How can they forget how much bigger I am than they are?
A wound of mine, able to heal with time, would swallow them whole.
They say that home is where one’s family is.
If that’s true,
then,
No matter what these kids do,
no matter how strong the lock on their door is,
they can’t change their home anymore than they can change who their mother is.
Open the door.
Look around you, look at me,
Then you’ll see that there’s just too much for you to lose
And if you think your fate is set,
Remember that you’ve already proven your power.
Just don’t forget that, a mother loves her children,
no matter what.
She just hopes that they love her too.
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142,214 Literary Works • 676,897 Reviews
this is wonderfully creative. i was thinking about writing a poem for my mother, since her bday's coming up soon. you've just given me the loveliest bit of inspiration. great poem <3
i don't have the energy for a review but i think this is great, would you mind mentioning me a bit later so i can review it?
Hey, vemalekhya! I'm here for a review!
This is a really good introduction. It's almost like the intro of a dystopian movie. It immediately hooks you and you want to know what Earth has to say.
Humans. This such an amazing portrait of humanity. It's so true, yet it tells us the truth in a kind way. I love that so much!
Natural disasters. Humanity has caused almost all the natural disasters through global warming. Yet this paints it in a different light. Perhaps these natural disasters are caused through humanity ignoring Earth's needs and continuing with their destruction. Again, telling these truths but softening the delivery. Although, my one thing.
This is a little weird. Using the word "blowing" works really well with the storm winds imagery, but it doesn't work in the full sentence.
All too true. Humans think they're better than everything. But they're ignorant of how they came to be.
This is line is so good!
Wow. Just wow. We do understand what we can do. Yet we do it. We are waiting for the Earth to fall apart and refusing to do anything about it.
This feels out of place and odd compared to the other lines. I'm not sure what it's purpose is though.
Their family is here. All over the Earth and we can't change that. We have yet to find a place that humans can exist outside of Earth. Everything's here and we can't change that. And we can't change that our mother is Earth. We never can.
The Earth is begging us to understand what we are losing. We've proven what we can do to the Earth. We can fix it if we try hard enough.
We often say that the Earth is destroying us. But we're destroying it ourselves. The Earth loves us and will protect us. We just have to allow it.
Honestly, this is super good. I couldn't find anything really to critique. The repeated first line. "I've never had kids like them." Really helps cement this idea of humanity being the Earth's children. This tells us the truth but softens it in a way that's not shoving it in our face and telling us to "FIX IT!"
This works better than that. I love this in so many ways!
Keeping living and writing,
MrytleJinn
Thank you so much for your feedback and ideas!
I love the perspective of the poem. I am a huge fan of free verse. My advice for you would be to shorten the poem to make it more effective. The message can be conveyed with fewer words, and I think that a shorter poem would have more of a impact. I say this only because some readers may begin reading, and stop reading early due to the length. I personally enjoyed it, but some readers prefer more straight to the point poetry. Here is a breakdown of your poem:
I like this because it really represents how people take our planet for granted.
I like this because it portrays how we as humans tend to ignore our planet, not realizing how it affects it.
I like this because we really should appreciate our planet more, and this does an excellent job of portraying that.
I’ve never had kids like them.
They understand that everything I give them turns to destruction in their hands,
but unyieldingly,
they watch me bleed from their slashes,
waiting for the fate they have written for themselves to arrive.
I like this because it amazingly portrays the fact that we dont take care of our planet and we are bound to lose it soon if we dont take action.
Overall, this poem is really amazingly written. I absolutely adore your writing style and love the words that you have chosen. Great job!!
Thank you so much for your input!
I enjoyed this poem. Since I am less familiar with poetry than with prose, I apologize for any misunderstandings in my critiques. Essentially, please take my words with a grain of salt, as I am not entirely confident in my ability to analyze poems. I particularly appreciate the mythological quality of the piece, which also evokes a biblical tone for me. I’m especially reminded of Proverbs due to the similar mother-and-child perspective. There’s something almost parentally exasperated about it. She isn’t portrayed as angry, but hurt and confused.
My biggest critique is that the poem is quite subtle for most of its length, but then the ending explicitly states the moral. While it is emotionally effective, the poem has already conveyed much of this meaning throughout. It might be stronger if it trusted the reader a bit more. I find the most interesting aspect of the poem isn’t the environmental message itself but the relationship depicted. Therefore, I would suggest making the ending less overtly moralistic and more emotionally personal. However, I wouldn't recommend making it dramatically more poetic just for the sake of sounding poetic. The conversational voice is one of its charms.
Thank you for this read.
Thank you for your review and ideas!